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Challenge: Share your adoption story

A Letter For Adoptive Parents From An Adoptee

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Please stop with the Rainbows and Butterflies.

Yes, capitals and all.

Stop posting pictures and videos of your children in tears showing that they are so grateful to finally have a home.

Stop exploiting innocent children for the loss that they have experienced. The loss that they may not have been able to fully process at such a young age.

Stop making posting what is supposed to be a private moment on your Facebook, public so it can go public. So you can be praised. So you can be thanked. So now millions of people can see the happy beautiful family and forget the struggles that have past and the struggles that will come.

Adoption is pain.

Adoption is loss.

Adoption is endless complicated feelings that may be covered with happiness and joy for the time being. It may always be this way. But your child may also may be experiencing conflicting emotions like an iceberg hiding their whole truth beneath the surface.

Their grief for the family they lost. The grief for the family they may never know. Their fear for hurting your feelings every time they mention their birth parents or think about their "real" family.

Stop with the rainbows and butterflies, until you are able to post and speak about the fire and destruction that adoption leaves in its wake.

For even the most traumatic and abusive of homes a child may be leaving, does not eliminate the love that the child may feel for their parents. That does not magically go away.

Adoption is complicated.

Families are complicated.

As an adult adoptee, I plead with you, to remember that your rainbows came with scars.

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