In room 203, I watched her labor. She did her best to keep a brave face and concentrate on the task before her. She searched for strength she wasn't sure she possessed. A baby girl was on her way.
This is not where she had planned to be in her teen years, but this is where life had brought her. She’d made a decision, and it would take everything in her to follow through and not back out. She wanted to renege, but she knew she couldn’t. She knew the sweet baby deserved more than she was able to offer. A baby girl was on her way.
We made silly jokes through our tears, trying to comfort each other and ease the pain. I would have given up all I own to freeze time and save her from facing what was to come. But a baby girl was on her way.
In room 205, they sat in anticipation. They did their best to keep a brave face and not break down over what was coming. They searched for a strength they weren’t sure they possessed. A baby girl was on her way.
They’d begged for this moment for years. This was not their original plan, but this is where life had brought them. Another woman had made a decision and picked them to be parents, but their hearts pounded in their chest, fearing she might back out. They knew she had every right to change her mind, but they desperately wanted the gift she had to offer. A baby girl was on her way.
They made silly jokes to lighten their fears and lessen the anticipation. They were caught between not wanting her to have to go through the heartbreak but needing her to endure it. They would’ve given up everything they own to save her from facing what was to come. But a baby girl was on her way.
After what seemed like the sun setting and rising a thousand times, a baby girl arrived.
She’d promised herself that she wouldn’t look, but the sound of that sweet cry made her instinctively peek at her daughter’s precious face, and tears flooded her cheeks like a waterfall plunging to its fate. It was the very moment we’d dreaded. Her life would never be the same. A baby girl had arrived.
They heard the cry of the newborn baby, and their faces lit up with joy. The nurses wheeled her in and placed her in her mother’s arms. Tears flooded their faces like a dammed-up river that had finally broken through the gates. It was the very moment they’d begged for. Their lives would never be the same. A baby girl had arrived.
I sat next to her, completely void of words. There was nothing helpful to say. She had heard all the well-intended advice and words of wisdom, and none of it mattered. So I sat with her in silence. There were no words that could describe how empty her heart was. We dimmed the lights, hoping it would hide some of the sadness. I took a deep breath, rubbed her leg, and thought to myself that this is what hell must look like. A baby girl was in the arms of her new mom.
I let some time pass and finally built up the courage to visit their room. It was lit up as brightly as possible so they could see every detail of her precious face. We talked about her nose and her hair. We giggled with her every movement, and they talked nonstop about how their hearts had never been filled with so much love. As I made my way out, her mom took a deep breath and said, “I think this is what heaven looks like.” A baby girl was in the arms of her new mom.
Hearts were broken and hearts were mended, but every heart loved a baby girl more than they loved themselves. Every heart wanted her to live a life filled with joy. Unimaginable sacrifices were made so she could live her life having everything she deserves and more.
One mom gave away her heart so another mom’s could be filled, and for the rest of their lives the little girl will be a beautiful reminder of the good in the world.
Adoption from a bird’s-eye view is equally the most painful and beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed.
Originally posted by Candice Curry on Alamo City Moms Blog.