The day I received my daughters official medical diagnosis is one that will forever stand out in my mind.
We had just returned home from running an errand when the phone rang. When you answer to hear the world renown neurologist on the other end of the line, you know the news you are about to receive probably isn't what you want to hear.
It was just a few simple words, "The tests results came back and it confirmed the diagnosis we had discussed."
I had no words.
Hot tears began to pour down my face.
Just one phone call seemed to change everything.
"Do you have any questions?" she asked.
I had a million questions in that moment, but none of them seemed really appropriate, so I just said "No, I don't think so."
And that was it.
I cried for days. About everything. I cried while folding laundry. I cried while watching TV. I cried while cooking supper.
I felt as if the ground was just ripped out from beneath my feet and it took every ounce of my strength just to function.
And although nothing in the moment felt OK, I just needed someone who had walked this path to tell me that we would be OK – that we could still have a beautiful life – that we could still find joy amidst this mess.
So momma, this is for you.
To the mom who just received her child’s hard medical diagnosis:
You will be OK.
I know right now it feels like the world is crumbling in around you —
Like your life could not possibly go on from here —
Like nothing here makes any sense at all.
BUT, you will be OK.
The truth is you won’t always feel OK.
The truth is you are allowed to be sad or angry
To wonder and question
To scream or fall to your knees in anguish.
Let yourself mourn. Grieve the life you thought your child would live now replaced with this harsh reality.
BUT, you will be OK.
The truth is life will not go on the same — not in the way you knew it before,
BUT life will move on, and amidst the pieces of a world you barely recognize you will find strength to live.
And you will see beauty,
And you will recognize goodness in this world that once felt shattered.
I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you will be OK, momma.
Because you will make a choice to be OK.
You will get up.
You will grow strong.
You will find a love within that you never knew you had before.
You will become a warrior and advocate.
You will not give up.
And you will be OK.
Because you will choose hope.
You will cling to it with every fiber of your being,
And it will get you through.
So yes mama, I know.
I know it feels in this moment as if nothing could ever be OK again.
But, it will be.
You will be.
With God by your side, you will be OK, momma.