Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Cabin Fever

How Hollywood Is Trying To Keep You Single

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article


Love Actually is one of my favorite movies of all time. I know. You'd assume that a gangsta like me would only be into ubergangsta movies like Shrek, The Lion King, or Beethoven's Second. I probably watch it once a month at least.

And that got me to thinking.

If hip-hop is ruining the Black community, then movies like this are exactly what are wrong with relationships. It's funny if you think about it. We put our fantasies into movies and music knowing full well that we'll probably never achieve them.

See, these movies make us believers in love and all that is wonderful and right in the world. Love, Actually is just...inspirational!

We start believing in the possibilities. When it ends, it makes us want to do something nice for some people we care about. Shoot, I called my momma after watching it once just to tell her I loved her. But let's be real. It's a movie for a reason. The people who wrote it created it because they wanted to see love and happiness on screen since they have to go home to their spouses and the loved ones who have caused them to consider murder at least twice.

Music is just like that. There are so many great love songs out there that make you believe. And that's great except its only part of the story. We all happen to forget that we are d-bags or untrustworthy or flakes. We all believe in the hour and thirty minute version of love or the 3 and a half-minute version of love and want that. We forget about our insecurities that won't let us love the way they do in the movies or the way crooners sang on tape.

Confusion. We hope for the beautiful love and happy endings that we see or hear, but all the while do everything in our power to protect ourselves from being hurt. We see the beauty and are afraid of it, all at the same time. We relate to the warm feelings that our favorite actors and actresses put out then go home and are pissed because our significant others don't make us feel that anymore. Because you know what? They used to.

We forget that they are actors and actresses who have screwed up lives of their own. But that doesn't matter because they made us happy. Hell, whenever I feel bad, I just throw in that movie and I feel better.

And that's how the media screws up relationships. It gives us hope and belief in love without telling us how to get over our own insecurities about love and romance. We get so caught up in the quick images and emotions that we fail to realize that everybody isn't perfect. Even the worst case scenario, as occurs in Love Actually, made me believe that sometimes love can trump all and make somebody work through the rough times. The only problem with that is the assumption that Love Actually is there in the first place.

So the next time you go to the movies to see a romantic comedy or just story about love or hear the best love song on the radio, remember, reality can suck and that the people on screen or on the radio in real life have three divorces and run over people in expensive cars at supermarkets.

And if all else fails, don't watch romantic comedies...

...just watch porn.

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.