Dear Mom Shamer,
AKA Professional Mom, Perfect Parent Patty, Karen, etc.
First off, I just want to congratulate you for being a part of the very small percentage of mothers who own the Official Motherhood Instruction Manual.
You are a part of an elite group of mothers who, in times of uncertainty, have the ability to reference the most sacred, sought-after texts in all of existence.
Wow. You must be so special.
By the way, it is so thoughtful of you to share your wealth of knowledge with us, ya know, “other” moms. You’re always there to correct us if you notice we aren’t following the instructions found in your handy dandy official manual.
You know EXACTLY what you’re doing ALL OF THE TIME.
How cool do you feel when you’re able to tell another mom exactly how she should parent her children?
You must feel so important when you tell another mom how she should act & feel.
You must be pretty confident when you tell another mom when she is right or wrong.
Good for you.
I’m just a little confused about one thing: is there more than one version of the Official Motherhood Instruction Manual?
Because every time one of you Professional Moms tell me how I should raise my kid, y’all’s answers are pretty inconsistent despite your raging confidence. So tell me, are there different versions?
Or are you completely full of shit?
Actually, this is one question I can handle without your expertise.
Contrary to popular belief, you, Professional Mom, are completely full of absolute shit.
You don’t own the Official Motherhood Instruction Manual because THERE ISN’T ONE.
You have just as much of an idea as to what your doing as the rest of us moms. The only thing you can reference is your own fumblings through the dark while you try to navigate your version of motherhood.
The sick part is that you truly believe you’re right & everyone else is wrong. You have this insane idea that you are literally a Professional Mom.
“Professional” Mom. Ha!
The only thing you’re professional at is scouring social media for parents & then forcing your unwanted opinion if, God forbid, they parent differently than you.
I see you on your pretty little Instagram profile.
Your life is so aesthetically pleasing. Look at you with your bright & airy presets & your great clothes & your adorable children & your cute husband & your spotless house. I read your cute little statuses on Facebook.
Your life is so aspiring.
You’re so interesting with your unblemished take on motherhood & your cute stories about your perfect life.
Listen, Linda. You’re not fooling anyone.
Your pretty little Instagram means nothing when you watched that mom’s story about how she chose not to breastfeed & to exclusively pump.
Your bright & airy presets mean nothing when you flood her DM’s with criticism, judgement, & hate. Your color schemes don’t hide the fact that you told that mom that she was a FAILURE & that she was depriving her baby of the nutrition & bonding experience it deserves.
Your cute little Facebook posts mean nothing when you saw a post your friend shared about that mom blogger who wrote about her bad day.
Your adorable stories mean nothing when you flood the comment section with accusations, name calling, & threats.
Your fake social media persona means NOTHING when you went searching for all of her social media accounts & harassing her until you were blocked.
Your unblemished take on motherhood means NOTHING when you messaged that mom & told her that she doesn’t deserve her child & that she is sick & that she should be sent away.
Your crap stories about your crap life mean NOTHING when you told that mom she should kill herself.
So no, you’re not fooling anyone, sister. You can try & hide behind that screen but I see you. We all see you. You’re not a “Professional Mom.”
You’re just like the rest of us.
I may be an Exclusive-Pumping-Baby-Deprivator & an Accused-Child-Abuser…. But at least I’m not a Professional Mom.
At least I’m not you.
Congrats, again. You must be so proud of yourself.
Love, The “Other” Moms