I don't want to be 'Mother of the Year, because, to be honest, it's not like I could keep up with that shiitake anyway.

And, not seeking such a recognition, well, maybe that makes me the oddball parent.

But, me, I just know where to set my bar and speaking of bars, any mamas up for a girls' night?

Nah, I don't want to be 'Mother of the Year,'

but I will accept

'Mother of Circus Monkeys,'

'Mother of Mayhem,'

'Mother of the Day,'

'Mother of the Hour,'

or, heck, even

'Mother of the Last Five Minutes.'

'Cause, truth?

Five minutes is about how long I keep myself together on any given day, and it's also the length of time my three kids can behave and not act like a bunch of crazies.

Really, ladies, none of us need to be great 365 days of the year.

If your "great" outweighs your "not so great," and you're someone who is always striving to be a better parent and improve how you love and support your children, then in my book, you clearly ARE 'Mother of the Year' caliber.