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Challenge: Romance After Kids

When Times Get Tough...Run Away Together

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I’m no marriage expert, that’s for sure. But one thing I do know, is that running away together once in a while to just realign and remember why you love each can save a relationship over and over again.

Sometimes, life gets crazy and we get off balance, feeling like we’re living parallel lives that hardly ever intersect. There’s too much going on: kids, work, chores, family issues, and it seems like marriage floats to the bottom of a very deep sea of insanity.

That’s when my husband and I pack our bags and head out. We leave the world behind and just concentrate on getting back in balance. We literally pick up and head out. We book a babysitter or our parents to watch our kids and our dogs, and we run away.

Right now we are in NYC. And you know what the amazing thing is? When you drop everything else in your life and just focus on the two of you, incredible things happen, and they happen fast. I admit that this is a bit irresponsible. My kids have stuff going on that we are blowing off this weekend. We won’t see my son’s basketball game, I won’t get to work on my daughter’s project with her that’s due Tuesday, and my youngest son will miss me if he can’t sleep in the middle of the night.

We’re spending too much money. We’re drinking too much alcohol. We’re eating really unhealthy food. We went to bed last night later than we have in a very long time, and my 40-year-old body will probably take longer to recover than I want to even think about right now. But IT’S ALL WORTH IT!

It’s worth it because in this moment, there is nowhere to focus but on each other.

It’s worth it because our kids will know and say, “my mom and dad really like to be together.”

It’s worth it because in these moments we create secrets that are only for us, and the rest of the world are all outsiders.

It’s worth it because when we go home, and we both go back to our individual lives, we’ll think about this weekend, smile and feel connected even while away from one another. We'll get lost in a moment and a memory of our time alone, and even if we aren't in the same room and are dealing with our own separate jobs and responsibilities.

It’s worth it because when the world around us gets crazy again and feels like it’s too much for us to handle, we’ll know that we’ll escape it all again, together, running away like teenagers to just concentrate on us.

Will we scream at each other again, fight and say things that we don’t mean because we’re stressed and disconnected? Definitely. Will we go days without getting to spend time just on us and forget that the “us” is as important as everything else? Absolutely. But then we’ll re-balance, because we both will make it happen.

So if you have a spouse or a significant other, make a plan to escape. The kids will be ok. The pets will survive. Work will wait. But these opportunities only come around once in a while, and the results have a very strong staying-power. I’m no marriage expert, but this much I know to be true.

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