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Challenge: Finding Your Village

WANTED: A friendship I don't have to pay for with lies

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I've got my struggles.

With body image.

With anxiety.

With having a few more glasses of wine than I would if we were not still IN. THE. MIDDLE. OF. A. LINGERING. PANDEMIC.

With friendships -- finding them and maintaining them.

With my overall sense of purpose in the world.

Am I doing enough?

Am I multi-tasking too much?

Is my energy focused on the right stuff?

"Why don't I have a job? I should have a job. But wait -- I do have a job. I'm a mom. But it doesn't pay. I should have a paying job."

All aboard the struggle bus!! Would anyone like to join me?

On this bus, here's what I'll offer you:






Brutally honesty.

A friendship you don't have to pay for with

lies about how awesome you're doing,

how great life at home is,

how well-behaved your kids are,

how you and your husband Marvin Gaye it up all the time (even on weeknights),

how you are #blessed,

and how your glass is always half full and never on its way to empty.

Do you know what else I'll do for you? I'll make damn sure that glass never is.

Because when you need me, I'll be there --

on the bus and ready to scoop you up and take us to Target or yoga or just for a dang drive while we blast some of the best inappropriate hits from the 90s.

And when you don't need me, I won't hassle you.

Won't blow you up with texts, and I'll never freakin' call because we know how us introverted folk hate to answer the phone.

And, do you know what else?

I won't expect any more from you than you've got to give.


Doesn't that sound nice?

Here's the thing about my favorite kind of friendships...

Here's the thing about having gal pals in your thirties and beyond...

These relationships are not about what I can do for you and what you can do for me and us spending every freakin' moment up each other's biscuits.

Healthy adult friendships are the kind that allow you to say "I've got my struggles,"
and the person says right back to you, "Same, girl. Same."

Then one of you sends a meme about chugging margs, and you talk again in a few days, or you don't, but it doesn't matter because that friend of yours, she doesn't go anywhere; she's right there when you need her again.

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