Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Keeping Your Cool

Want To Tame The Arguing With Your Teens? Try This 1-2-3 Approach

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article


You know the drill.

Teen walks in door.

You start asking questions. They answer. You react.

Cut the arguing with your teens with this 1-2-3 approach.

(1) STOP

Catch yourself before you react and stop. Pay attention to your breathing. Count to 10.

This simple act will help you overcome the desire to react in the heat of the moment.


Don’t say anything. Just listen. Pay attention to what is being said. What is not being said. But most importantly, how your teen might be feeling in the moment.

What is going on? What is important right now? Why is this so important right now?


Yes, you have years of experience to know that what is important to your teen right now, may not really be that important in the scheme of life. But it’s not about you. It’s about your teen.

What are they experiencing right now? How can you connect to that? How can you affirm what they are feeling?

Stress amongst our teens is growing at a ridiculous rate. And while you may want to shout:

“You have no clue what stress is like.
Wait until you have a job, a home, kids to worry about, bills to pay.
Then I’ll show you stress.”
Stress is stress. It has no age limits. No boundaries. No biases.

And teens can choose some pretty extreme things to manage stress.

And yet, listening and connecting with your teen is one of the best anecdotes you can offer to combat the ill effects of stress.

Try it out, and let us know how it goes!



I have the best job on the planet! As an Emotional Intelligence Coach, I will help you learn how to navigate the stressors of life so that you can reach your goals, achieve balance, and enjoy all that life has to offer. I love working with leaders, parents, students, and young adults.

I am a certified coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF), a Certified EQ Assessor with Six Seconds, and a Panelist with the Six Seconds EQ Community Forum.

With over 25 years of experience as a Performance Consultant, my focus is on helping individuals and corporations achieve their personal and leadership goals. My combined experience working as a consultant with Fortune 100 organizations, and working with students and adults in church ministry gives me a unique coaching platform.

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.