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I’m leaning into madness and uncertainty on my 47th birthday in a pandemic

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Universe: OMG I can’t believe you are 47.

Me: It’s OK, age really is just a number.

Universe: You spent your birthday dinner covered in root beer. Your watch was stuck to your arm you were so sticky.

Me: Oh, believe me, I remember. It was a bumpy start, but you know what? I’ll forever remember my 47th birthday dinner. Lots of lessons learned for our kids. Not to mention the amount of laughter…it turned out to be a really joyous night. Did you see my cake?

Universe: Aren’t you getting tired of being tired?

Me: I don’t think there will ever be a day that I’m not a little bit tired. But, as long as I’m alive to feel tired, it’s OK.

Universe: Didn’t I overhear you calling a periodontist the other day? Are you worried this is the beginning of the breakdown? After all, you are 47.

Me: First of all, what’s the number got to do with anything? Second, you need to take a seat. For your information, yes, I did call a periodontist. My gums are a total wreck and I probably need to have a graft. But, I have a wonderful dentist who fit me in to look at my mouth and assure me it wasn’t anything life threatening. (You can’t google ‘why are my gums white’ and not totally panic) She also put me in touch with a great periodontist. She’s amazing! It’s not ideal to have another procedure, but when you have the right people around you, it makes a huge difference.

Universe: OK, OK, but what about your nose? I was there when you had that appointment. Sis, no offense, but your nose is a total wreck.

Me: Have you ever heard of a HIPPA violation? I think you need to stay TF out of my doctor appointments.

Universe: I heard what she’s going to do to your nos—

Me: Stop. It could be so much worse. Again, I’m in such good hands! You know, there’s a really good argument to be made about mixing business and pleasure. I mean, relying on friends or people you know for professional support. I reached out to a friend for my nose consult and now I couldn’t imagine seeing anyone else but her. She’s amazing, too. Essentially, yes, my nose has fallen and it can’t get up…thankfully she can fix it and I’ll be able to breathe normally again.

Universe: Do I need to remind you that you are still living in a pandemic and just went through a category 4 hurricane? The university where you work literally shut down for three solid weeks and now you have to make all that up.

Me: You don’t need to remind me of anything. Every morning that I make sure both kids have masks on is reminder enough. But hey, I’d rather them be in school face-to-face every day than at home trying to learn virtually. It’s really a small sacrifice. And not to mention, attitude is everything. If I’m OK with it, they will be too. As for work? I’m just thankful that I have such an amazing job. It will all work out — it always does. Maybe you should try being more faithful and less worried.

Universe: OK, OK, but aren’t you getting tried of how busy life is getting with your kids’ schedules? I mean, the girl swims some beastly schedule 4 days a week. Then she’s got all those meets to compete in. The boy, is busy, too. Not to mention homework, cotillion classes, and didn’t you just schedule family pictures? I’m pretty sure it’s going to rain.

Me: Here’s the thing — it’s always going to be busy. No matter with what, who, or when, there will always be something to do, and I’m lucky that I get to do it. These things are not things that I have to do, they are things that I get to do. Don’t you already know that my husband does a lot of the carpooling? I’m really lucky.

There’s a difference between have to and get to. I’m lucky to be on this earth to watch her swim, watch him in the gym, hear about cotillion, help with homework, and have a family to take pictures with. Rain or shine. It is all about how you look at it.

Universe: Well —

Me: Let me stop you right there. You can throw all of this and more at me, but it’s not going to matter. This is how resilience is made and attitude is everything. I’m learning to lean into the madness and uncertainty. I also know that nothing is for sure, so we make the best of what is offered to us. Always.

Universe: But —

Me: You are wasting your time. Yes, lots of physical changes happen around 47, but there are a lot of other changes, too. Things like confidence, laser-like focus on what really matters, and intolerance of crappy behavior.

Life is good — no matter how busy, uncertain, or challenging. Have you met my kids and husband? I hit the jackpot with them. Don't even get me started on my awesome friends. I am one lucky woman. I’m alive to live this life to the fullest and I will do just that. Every day is a good day; even with really bad gums, a wrecked nose, and crazy carpool schedule.

Hang in there, ya’ll. xo

Originally published here: https://www.facebook.com/enter...

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