To The Mom Trying to do All The Things
As a young mom, and a mom that is still getting used to this parenting gig, I often feel the pressure to keep up with society, AKA what my friends and the influences around me are doing so effortlessly.
But I also struggle with the pressure to say,” yes, we will be there.”
But I am here to admit that being a mom is hard, and being a woman with children is hard.
I have come to find this little phrase is very similar but very different.
I had no idea that when I had kids, they would be so popular. Grandparents like time with their own children's offspring. Who would have thought?
I had no idea that I would struggle so actively with the comparison game. Can my children count as well as the others? Is eating all organic really that important? I let my child sleep in the Rock N Play, does that make me unfit?
You may struggle with one or the other, but I struggle with both.
I not only want to appear to be a good mom, but I also really want to be a good mom. I only have one chance with these little ones that have been entrusted to me, and I desperately don't want to get it wrong. I know that one day they will make their own choices in life and I hope that I am equipping them with the things that matter and not just a nutritious meal and cute clothing. I hope that I am teaching them, kindness, love, acceptance, and hard work.
I am also the mom that wants to be the people pleaser but often fall short of doing so. I am an introvert, and too selfish with the time that I have with my children. But I think that is okay. Saying yes to every invite, trying to attend every family function, hoping that every person has enough one on one time with the grandchildren has our family stressed and running on low. I am becoming less of the mom I want to be because I am trying to be more than I can be.
I have come to realize that it's okay to be a little selfish with the time that I have my kids and it is not my responsibility to make sure that everyone gets the same amount or enough time with them.
To all the people pleasers, I know how much you want to say yes to the loved one but want to say no. It's okay to put your family first. It doesn't make you ungrateful. It's okay to be a little selfish with your time on occasion.
To all the mothers who go to bed with guilt festering in her heart, they love you. You're doing your best, and that is more than enough.