I’m sure a lot of you have read the article that has circulated on social media about low maintenance friends and why they are so important. Friends who you can respond to a text three days later, or finally call them back weeks later, and they totally get it and understand. They get that you have a job and kids and hobbies and a chaotic life but they are also the people who would be there for you when the going gets tough. 1000 percent these are my people BUT the real shout out needs to be made to the mommy friends out there. These are most likely the same people, but even better.
I went out to lunch today with one of my best friends who is also a mom. We brought our little guys with us and drank coffee and ate lunch and caught up in the quick 45 minutes that we had. She’s a friend I’ve had since high school and someone I’ve been out to eat with a million times. While eating lunch with her I couldn’t help but think how different this lunch date was compared to how they used to be.
7 years ago alcohol most definitely would have been involved on this date. We wouldn’t have been complaining about our food taking forever because we had a drink to sip on and all the time in the world. We would be chatting about the future and who we have a crush on and what our plans were that weekend. We had no stress in the world except our college classes. We were wearing cute clothes and our hair was done and makeup was on our face.
Today, however, we were in a rush. We had two little boys with us who were restless and on the move. We made several comments about how long our food was taking because HELLO it’ nap time we have a schedule to stick to people. We chatted about our boys and babysitters and busy schedules. Of course, this was in between running after a one year old and feeding 300 puffs to the baby to keep him happy and quiet. We had leggings and minimal makeup on and there wasn’t a whole lot of “relaxing” going on. We drank coffee instead of a good beer or mimosa. (sigh)
Our lives are so different now and I’m thankful to have a good group of mommy friends to go through this season on life with. Maybe you can relate. You don’t go out with them often but when you do, you are totally cool with their kids tagging along because chances are you have to bring yours too. You can call them about literally anything. Any question relating to your baby your mommy friends have an answer. Is it normal for baby poop to look like this? Is this too much food to feed a baby? When did you sleep train? Is this rash normal? Does anyone else treat their friends like doctors? Just me? Ok.
Not only are they there for every baby question you have, but they know when you need to GET AWAY from the baby too. I can remember a time on my maternity leave when my mommy friend asked how my day was going. I lied and told her it was going good. But it was one of those days where the baby was extra fussy, the house was extra messy, and everything was in fact not going “good”. She told me that we were going out for drinks that night and my husband was on baby duty. After multiple attempts at telling her no, I realized “no” was not an answer she was going to take. I forced myself to shower and put something on other than leggings and my husband’s t-shirt and we met up for some drinks. She could tell in my voice that it was one of those days and knew I needed to get out. HOW DOES SHE KNOW THESE THINGS? I’m so thankful for that evening out with her to this day. It’s easy to get caught up in the whole mom thing and forget you’re allowed to hold a different title every now and then. But leave it to your other mommy friends to call you out on it.
These are also the same women who bring you over a garbage bag full of baby clothes from their cousin because they don’t need it. The ones who bring you a box of brand new bottles and tell you to keep them because they have enough. The ones who send you flowers on your first day back to work because they remember how hard it was. The ones who love your child like their own and you feel the same way about theirs. These women are some of the best moms you’ve ever known and you love going through motherhood with them. To rephrase, you wouldn’t SURVIVE motherhood without them.
To all the mommy friends – you know who you are. Dang it we love you.
Written by: Amy Kaufman - Look Ma, No Sleep!
IG & Facebook: @lookmanosleep