It was about a year ago that I stumbled across an article bashing “Bad Mom” blogs. It referred to the moms that write about drinking, cussing and making bad parenting decisions. It pretty much called them the scum of the earth. That they ignored their children and were only worried about likes on Instagram and page views.
I was a bit offended.
I write about drinking. I also cuss. And I have made my fair share of bad parenting decisions.
But how dare he call me a bad mom! I don’t even use Instagram!
So I moved on with my life. But for some reason, that article stayed in the forefront of my mind. I found myself thinking about it a lot.
And now I have decided to write about it.
I have been writing this blog for almost exactly two years. I started it for one reason – to show the realistic side of parenting. To show that life isn’t Pinterest birthday parties and pony rides and white Keds and kids that don’t throw tantrums in the parking lot of Kroger because they can’t take their pirate sword in.
And I will admit, I have changed a lot since I started this blog. Two years ago, I thought that potty training would be easy. I thought that my now four-year old would have grown out of his tantrums. I thought that having two kids couldn’t be that much harder than one and that losing the baby weight a second time would be a breeze.
Hahahaha. Life is always throwing us curveballs.
I do think that I am a little more mindful about my parenting now. I yell a little less. I don’t freak out when my kids don’t do what I ask them to. I actually made a chart the other day so that Henry would stay in bed at night. Each morning he gets to circle a number for staying in bed and when he gets fifteen circles, he gets a prize. If you had told me this two years ago, I would have laughed.
I’m not saying I’m a better mom now, I’m just a more experienced mom. And I have learned what works with my children and what doesn’t.
And I still have a ton of questions. And problems. And I often wonder why raw cookie dough tastes so good.
I still drink. I probably had a bottle of red wine last Friday and watched “The Greatest Showman” while Henry sat on me and shoved Imaginext pirate figurines in my face.
I still cuss. Because when you’re having a bad day, it feels much better to yell, “Are you fucking kidding me?”. But I’m not dropping F bombs in front of my one and four-year old on the regular. Yeah, the occasional “shit” slips out or the “Nice blinker, you asshole!” but it is always proceeded by me apologizing and saying that is a Mommy word and don’t you dare say that at school or I will take away one of those circles.
And yes, I still make bad parenting decisions. Probably daily. It’s not like I do it on purpose. I don’t wake up every morning thinking, “How I am going to screw up the day?” Shit just happens.
So to the man who wrote about the rise of “Bad Moms”, I applaud you for posting your opinion. We are all allowed to share our voices with the world. I do it all the time.
But I can guarantee him that I do not write this blog for the likes. I don’t write it for Instagram followers or so I can become a social media influencer like a Bachelor contestant and sell those Sugar Bear Hair vitamins.
I write this blog for me. Because when I want to get something off my chest, I come here.
I write this blog for the new mom that is drowning in sadness. Because I have been there and there is a way out.
I write this blog for the mom that works full time and is so damn tired when she gets home and still has to take care of her children and give baths and read bedtime stories and hugs and kisses.
I write this blog for the mom that has been comparing her life to the life of that one person on social media that seems perfect. Because I can guarantee her life isn’t perfect. Social media is a highlight reel.
I write this blog for the mom that did successfully throw a Pinterest birthday party. Because you are my damn hero. Do you do contract work?
Lastly, I write this blog because someone has to write about real life, and real life gets messy. Really fucking bad mom, wine drinking messy.
Until Next Time,