Ever since I gave birth to twins, I have been referred to as “superwoman” by sincerely kind women who before me have bore children and survived to tell about it. This humbling title is very much appreciated and often gives me the motivation to keep on keepin’ on. Well let me tell you, this is no easy task. I am human. On a daily basis, I am a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a therapist, a referee, a teacher, a student, a doctor, an artist, a chauffeur, a chef, a cleaning lady, a laundress, a negotiator, a lawyer, an advocate, and a role model. My hat collection needs its own closet. Hopefully there’s enough room in there for my cape.
Photo credit: Alex Michele Photography
I love my twins more than anything on this planet. I find myself pausing during my days to take in every little clap, smile, laugh, and cry, for I know that in the blink of an eye, they will be where I am now. You know the saying, “the days are long, but the years are short”? Well, that hits you like a ton of bricks on the days when your kids are having epic meltdowns. When doctors or specialists are dissecting your child and delivering less than favorable news about her condition. When your son suffers febrile seizures and you are paralyzed by the situation, feeling completely helpless when it happens. When your daughter has multiple surgeries and you wonder when she will be lucky enough to not have to go through so much pain. When your exhaustion has hit the highest level. Game over.
But then there are the days that sneak up on you and smack you in the face with epic achievements, or in our world-inchstones. When your son shows empathy to his twin sister by helping her with her inability to do certain things.
When your daughter takes her first steps at 28 months old, after daily therapies. When your son says, “I love you” for the first time at two years old and your heart leaps from your chest. And when your daughter, who doctors said would never speak normally and would have to communicate with an assistive device, says, “I love you” for the first time at 4.5 years old, by carefully sounding out each consonant and vowel in her own way. Your eyes become wells, pumping out tears. Tears that you had previously cried, as you prayed for these moments to happen. Praying against the odds and that the doctors and specialists would be wrong. Feeling an immeasurable level of gratitude when your prayers have been answered when she proves them wrong.
My days are filled with shuttling my kids to and from school, and accompanying my daughter to multiple therapies. My “mom life” is a bit unconventional, compared to parents of neuro-typical children. Our home life has homework from therapies surreptitiously interwoven into our routine. Perhaps this deviation from the norm is what has encouraged others to classify me as “super.” But what makes me different from other moms? What makes me “super”? Nothing. I am not different from other moms. We are ALL superwomen. Being a Mom is a superpower in and of itself. You are cloaked with that cape as soon as you assume the title of “Mom” (or dad, or parent, or caretaker). We are all fighting daily battles, trying to survive motherhood-hoping we can even find time for a daily shower. We are all doing everything we can for our children, and to raise our children. We are doing what works best for us, our families, and our circumstances. We are leaning on our motherly instincts, what we learned from our own mothers, and what we glean from the members of our mom tribe; after all, it takes a village. We are all navigating through this life in the best way we know how. Some days will be harder than others, but the ones that catch you by surprise in the best way possible, make the bad days sting a lot less. So to all of my fellow supermoms (dads, parents, caretakers) and multitaskers, I say, you never know what someone else is dealing with on the inside, despite how they may look on the outside. I’m not perfect; no one is perfect. Do what works best for you and your family, and do it with grace, a sense of humor, and your invisible cape, because WE are ALL superheroes.
Photo credit: Alex Michele Photography
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Tamar Blazer is an attorney-turned-twin mom, with a passion for her family, friends, writing, good food, home decor and laughing. When she’s not lamenting on her lack of sleep, you can find her doing one of the too many projects she likes to take on, usually with a twin on either side.