“I’m trying to be nice, but it’s just sometimes hard”

Those were the words my six year old muttered through tears as I sat across from him.

I had asked him why on earth he wasn’t listening to ANYTHING I said to him and he looked at me, with the softest tear filled eyes, and managed through sniffles and crying to let me know that he’s trying.

Tears began to well up in my eyes and I grabbed him up and scooped him next to me.

He is our oldest son.

We have four kids and he is the second to oldest.

I know I probably don’t do the best at juggling all the things for all of my kids all the time.

I fall short.

Sometimes I yell.

And sometimes I wonder how on earth God saw it fit to bless me with these kids.

But, as soon as this little boy said those words to me, it all made sense.

I’m TRYING to be the best mom.

I’m TRYING to love them with the same grace, mercy, and tenderness that Jesus shows me.

But sometimes, it’s just hard.

And I know that in the same way I scooped that little boy up and put my arms around him, Jesus does the same to me.

I know that He meets me in the mess and He cleans me up.

I KNOW that even though it’s sometimes hard, He sees me trying.

He sees me trying to love them in the way that He loves me.

And though my love will NEVER be as perfect or as gentle as His, I sure will keep trying.

Because sometimes trying is all it takes.