There you are staring down your toddler for the umpteenth time this week. It is taking every ounce of restraint not to morph into angry mom. You try so hard for everything to go right, yet it goes all wrong. Listen, every mom has been there before. I have been there before.
Your child is crying, and you're so stressed out that you could start breaking plates. Parenting is one of the most frustrating (and rewarding) jobs, and when you have a toddler, even the simplest things take way more work.
When you're already having a bad day or you are at your wit's end, you may want to explode. If you want to learn how to be a more patient mom when you have a toddler, I have six tips that will help you out with learning to be a more patient mom!
Relax And Regroup
We've all been there before. It's the back and forth with your toddler, and you are so angry and frustrated that you feel like you're going to lose it. I get it. I have been there too many times to count. Instead of yelling, take a moment to regroup.
Stop talking, shut your eyes for a second, and take a deep breath. Count to 10. Heck, count to 50 if you need more time. Counting forces your mind to think of something other than the trigger of your anger. So take a few seconds to relax and regroup your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, at the moment, we can be quick to speak before we think things through. Taking those extra moments will allow you to make better decisions. Once you are calmer, you can take a step back and see the entire landscape of the power struggle with your toddler.
Look At The Situation From Your Child's Perspective
It's hard to justify why your child does what they do, especially with toddlers. When you feel like your fuse is about to run out, take a moment to think about the situation from your child's perspective. Why are they feeling the way that they are? What might they be thinking? Toddlers can have irrational fears and discomfort that might seem silly to us but are significant problems for them.
Take Care Of Yourself First
You can't be all in for your kids if you haven't taken care of your problems first. If you are having a fight with your spouse or you are having a rough day, take some time for yourself. When you prioritize your well-being, you will be less stressed, happier, and well-rested.
This will allow you to calm down and change your mood to avoid lashing out at your kids. Your kids need you at your best, and this is the best way to make sure they get that. Self-care for moms is non-negotiable. Even if you build in 15 minutes a few times a week, make sure you take time to recharge your fast draining batteries.
It's Okay To Take A Mommy Time Out
If your kids are at your wit's end, then it's okay to take a mommy time out. Have your husband, family member, or friend watch them for a few hours so you can get some distance. Some alone time can be just what you need to calm down and relax for a moment. This is especially important if you are parenting a strong-willed toddler.
Change Your Tone Of Voice
The classic mom phrase, "don't use that tone with me," has officially come full circle! If you find yourself feeling a bit heated, consider changing your tone of voice. Often it's not the words we are saying but how we say them that will make the most impact. Kids are sensitive, and an angry tone can make them feel yelled at even if you haven't raised your voice.
Hug It Out
When you are both standing there toe-to-toe in a battle of wills pause, get down on your toddler's level, and hug them. Connecting with your child helps you remember the relationship you are fostering as a parent. After you soak up, some hugs and kisses redirect your toddler to another activity or better behavior.
Learning To Be A More Patient Mom
These might not seem like life-changing tips, but they will have a significant impact on both you and your toddler. I highly encourage you to give some of these a try if you want to learn to be a more patient mom.
Rebecca Conklin is the founder of collectingclovers.com, a mom of 4 amazing kids and wife to her best friend. She is a caffeinated, Disney loving, homeschooling mom, and writes about realistic approaches to life, motherhood, and more.