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Challenge: Romance After Kids

Setting The Foundation For Romance Even With Kids

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After the kids are born, it may be a bit difficult to retain the spark you had when you were two lovebirds with nothing but time and income.

You can't always duck out of town for an emergency romantic getaway, so how do you keep the fire burning in the throes of your current domestic responsibilities.

First off, it's something that the two of you need to be conscious about, because the pieces aren't just going to come together and fit into place. You need to treat the romance and sex part of your life as if it's a full-time job, because it's so important to the big picture.

Let's take a look below about what you need to know and do to bring bliss back to your relationship.

Get Frank About Sex And Romance

The biggest problem that couples and individuals have about sex and romance rests between their ears.

Even though we live in a time where you're a few clicks away from any sexual content you can imagine, most people are still guarded and blocked when it comes to sex and their bodies. This is due in part to past hurts or abuse that many people endure, but also is rooted in the amount of shame prevalent in today's society.

No sex and romance problems in your relationship can be fixed until you first embrace your sexual autonomy as an individual. From there, make sure the lines of communication are open between you.

Make The Relationship A Game

When you were a kid, what'd you do everyday? That's right -- you played.

This also happens to be the time of your life when you were always in the moment, weren't stressed out about the little things and had a zeal and seemingly infinite amount of energy.

Sacred sex experts like Mantak Chia teach that our sex energy is life energy that can empower us, make us more creative and sustain us. When you think of it this way, you'll both be looking for ways to share and build that energy, rather than just making sex and romance a chore.

Make foreplay all day and always check in with each other to be sure you're on the same page. The two of you should make use of a period tracker to understand the ebbs and flows of her cycle, and how it will affect her mood and libido.

Above all, keep everything light and fun in the process. Don't be afraid to get silly. A little bit of roleplay can go a long way.

Enforce Boundaries With The Bedroom Time

The hardest part of being a parent is finding time to do it all. No matter how many wins you got today, it always feels like something was left on the table.

Because of this, make sure that your bedroom is a fortress away from the stresses and troubles of the world.

Having the TV and cell phone on in the bedroom drives a wedge between your connection and keeps you distracted. Relationship expert Esther Perel has written extensively about these sorts of comfort levels and routines, which are surefire romance killers.

Keeping the bedroom pure also means keeping the kids out. It's hard to jump into sexy mode if you're mom and dad even in your own bedroom.

By applying these strategies you're doing your part to keep romance alive -- even when you have kids.

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