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School Pickup: The Perspective From That Very Late, Very Tired Mom

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Welp, I did it. I have officially earned my “SUCKY MOM” badge. I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a mom but this time I screwed up big time.

*drum roll*

Last Thursday, I had one job. ONE JOB: Pick the Toddler up from school. At 2:15PM.

So after drop off I figured I’d try and get a good nap in. I had like 2+ hours to kill.

And it was such a good nap. Like the kind of nap with the blackout curtains, an empty house, the whole shi-bang.

It was so good that I somehow managed to shut off all 3 of my alarms without waking up.

Eventually my not-so-trusty mom-insticts kicked in but it was too late.

30 minutes late, to be exact because when I finally woke up it was 2 god damn 30.

I needed to be awake at 2:00PM at the LATEST. I live 20 minutes from the preschool.

I decided to go braless and pantless for the nap and apparently every pair of pants I owned evaporated during said slumber.

I searched for pants like a crazy blind person for 3 minutes until I hastily grabbed a pair of the husband’s basketball shorts.

Screw the bra. Rushed out to my car. Can’t see. Glasses. Where are my damn glasses. Ran back inside, up the stairs, find the glasses, ran back down the stairs. Grabbed husbands hoodie to hide the braless nipples. Back in car. Started driving. And crying. Lots of crying.

Accidentally snapped this flattering picture while frantically trying to call preschool.

Finally managed to work phone and dialed the preschool and assured them I was only 10 minutes away (was definitely a solid 17 minutes away).

Finally when I got to school, I ran up the steps and ran into the office where the 3 year old sat patiently waiting.

Picture, if you will, a crazed, sweaty woman with Medusa hair, last night’s makeup smeared down her face, wearing saggy basketball shorts, and an oversized dirty sweatshirt. Would you give a child to this woman? No, you probably shouldn’t.

But lucky for me, this office lady did. Her and my sons teacher were very sweet and both gave me one of those “bless your heart” smiles and sent us on our way.

The best part, was while I carried the Toddler down the stairs back to the car, I was so hysterical and in such a frenzy that I literally FELL down the stairs.

FELL. DOWN. THE. STAIRS.

I completely missed a step, folded my ankle in half, and landed HARD on my knees, then elbow, then shoulder.

Somehow I managed to set down the Toddler before the tumble, and he was just looking at me like

“Bro, can we PLEASE just get it together?”

So yeah, there’s a lot of things we do as moms and dads that we just don’t talk about. We all make mistakes, and for me, this was one I was definitely not proud of.

But in the hopes of feeling a little better about myself, I told a handful of moms who have been moms a lot longer than me, and they all had their own version of “I didn’t pick my kid up on time.”

Every single one of them.

When I told my husband, he said “well once you stop beating yourself up about it, that story would be perfect for your blog.”

*face palm*

But he was right.

Moral #1 of the story: When you become a parent, you will inevitably be late picking them up from somewhere. Like really late. And you’re going to feel like a piece of hot garbage for it. Just remember us parents are sleep deprived, malnourished, dehydrated human beings. We all make mistakes. We are constantly running late. Just don't keep it all balled up inside where it'll turn into some ugly hairy mom guilt monster. Talk about it. Share your version. I promise you'll feel 10x better once you do.

Moral #2 of the story: Don’t take naps without pants. Much too risky.

Have you ever been late to pick up? Maybe you totally forgot your kid at school? Or practice? Tell me your version of "I didn't pick my kid up on time." Share this post to help other parents feel less like hot garbage!

*written by Taylor Halfpenny Ticking Time Momb*

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