Life takes a full turn, once we have babies. They suddenly become the center of our universe and our whole life revolves around them. In our quest to being the perfect mother and father, we at times end up ignoring our partners. Our relationship as a spouse or partner slowly starts to take a back step. Do you think it’s fair? Do you think its right?
This is one of the main reasons why women suffer from acute postpartum depression post-delivery. Suddenly they realize that their life has taken a paradigm shift and slowly but gradually the kids take predominance over their lives and everything else takes a back stage.
Also, many parents will realize that new born demand a lot of time and attention that does not leave the parents with much time on their own. So what do we do in such scenario? Should we just resign to fate and say that we are a mother now and hence should behave like one? We should be devoid of anything romantic?
Is indeed romance post kids – A myth or is it a reality?
What if I say, that the answer to this question actually lies within you. It is absolutely on you to decide what you want to do and how you want to do. It is your choice. Let me tell all you fellow mommies it is not a crime to enjoy on your own even if you have kids at home.
It is good for your own sanity to have some “I time or we time”. Lastly, remember you wanted the kids since you were happy in the relationship with your partner and were ready to take the next step with him. (I remember how crazy I was when we started planning to conceive that I did bleach pregnancy test at home as i had no patience that time to visit market and buy the EPT). Not the other way round where you are in the relationship because of your kids. So, all you ladies out there, here are a few ways that you can keep the romance alive even post kids.
Plan a bit in advance:
It is ok to accept that some things have changed post kids and then act accordingly. Gone are the days, when you could make last minute plans and head out with your hubby. Now, with kids at home, you simply cannot make impromptu plans.
You need to think from before and make plans in advance. Yes, with determination you can do it. Do not shy out to ask for help. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child. You can ask your parents, in laws or friends to baby sit while you both step out for some time together.
Be prepared for the unexpected:
Always be prepared for the worst. There will be times, when you have been eagerly waiting to go for the much awaited Stand Up comedian live performance in town and your husband has surprised you with surprise VIP tickets for same only to realize at the last moment that your daughter is throwing up and feeling sick.
In short, no matter what the occasion or event might be, always be prepared of last minute changes due to kids. They might fall down, feel cranky, fall ill the list is endless. Do not loose heart or feel bad about it as there will always be another time in future.
You do not always need to step out:
We all love to go out for a romantic date but with kids it might be better to actually have the date at home. You can actually tuck the kids into bed and then snuggle next to your spouse with a glass of wine and watch “ Notting Hill” together. There are many things that you can do together at home. The idea is to try and execute same.
Do not forget to say “I Love You”:
Once we become parents, we forget to say “I love You “ to each other. These 3 simple words will work like magic to brighten up your beloveds evening after a bad day in office. Please express your feelings in abundance and at all times. It will help to rekindle your feelings for each other.
Celebrate special days:
No one has said that just because you are married with kids there can be no fizz in life. Just because we have toddlers at home we cannot celebrate special days. With the Valentine’s Day round the corner, use the day to add spice to your life. Buy a card for your husband. Bake his favorite cake, surprise him with his favorite perfume. Do small for him that we will appreciate. Such small things will make a difference in your life and make your other half feel special and wanted.
So all you fellow mommies out there, please use this day and all other days to rekindle the romance in your life. If you want the romance to stay in your life after kids, you need to make the effort.