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Challenge: Romance After Kids

Remember When My Flaws Were What You Loved About Me?

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It is practically impossible to love every single thing about your significant other. Every couple I know can quickly rattle off their fair share of pet peeves about one another. Being irritated by your spouse's flaws as you perceive them, and being vocal about the unhappiness their blunders are causing you, can lead nowhere good – for either of you or for the relationship.

Relationships are hard enough on their own. Marriages are complicated. When two people vow to spend the rest of their lives together, they are assigning themselves to a life marked by the ever-presence of another. This is not a surprise. So, why we get married and then freak out and always complain that our partner's habits are irking us is beyond me.

The somewhat hilarious part about all of this is that for many of us, the things we have come to dislike or detest in our spouse are typically some of the same things that drew us to them in the first place.

So, my dear husband, I ask this of you and all of the frustrated spouses out there —

Remember when your significant other's “flaws” were what you loved about them.

I need you to work hard at this, and I need you to remember …

… when my quirky style and appearance was attractive to you.

… when my tendency to worry so much about practically nothing was innocently endearing.

… when my feisty opinions and willingness to voice them would turn you on.

… when you were impressed by how much energy I put into my work.

… when you cared enough to “be on time” because you knew that being late drove me crazy.

… when you understood my passive aggressive nature and worked around it.

… when my all-or-nothing attitude was intriguing.

… when the many facets of my personality made me spontaneous and fun to be around.

Listen up, significant others! There are a lot of partners who ask for a lot more from their spouses. All we are asking for and all we really want is for you to try to remember why you love us and not always be thinking about why you don’t.

This post originally appeared on EverydayFamily, Inc. at this link.

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