Inspired by a podcast episode and the heaviness in my heart and thought, I decided to create a new list for myself. This list would remind me what is "My Job" and what is "Not My Job".
Like many people, these last few months have been full of a range of emotions. They have also have been filled with uncertainty. Right when we think we know what's coming, "whap!" - think again! A new rule, a new procedure, a new expectation.
For awhile I was allowing myself to be pulled and yanked by the demands and expectations of others. I had convinced myself that doing so was making me a "good leader". I also think, in all honesty, I thought that if they saw me bending this way and that way they would be impressed and convinced that I was truly doing "whatever it takes." I mean when you name your company WIT - Whatever It Takes, that's what you gotta do, right?
All that contorting led to physical and mental exhaustion. And guest what? The ones I was trying to please - it was never enough. They are still unsatisfied and unhappy. And in some ways I get it. I get how during a time of such uncertainty it's easier to look outside ourselves and complain about how others are doing things, versus going inward and addressing what might not be going right. I'm still trying to track down the AMEX customer service agent I lost it on a few weeks ago. While they had made a mistake, it didn't illicit the type of reaction I gave her. Bluntly, I lost my s&*#. All the pent up anger and frustration I'd been feeling towards work-related issues all came out onto this innocent customer service representative. That's the thing about anger, it can't stay in forever, it will either seep out or erupt out of you.
That experience made me think that maybe I've been that for other people. Maybe I've been the place where they take out their frustrations with others (the world). Making that connection allowed me to feel more empathic, but it also made me realize it was time to get back in my lane.
So, this morning I made this list.
I needed a visual reminder of what are/aren’t my responsibilities.
I don’t think I’m alone in feeling like those lines have been blurred over the last few months. As I talk to friends - especially those running companies - there are a lot of feelings around needing to make everyone happy and do all the things.
It’s just not possible.
I tried and still got the haters, and worse, I lost myself in the trying.
So, back to my lane.
Back to doing my job.
Back to doing "whatever it takes" not just for others, but for myself.
P.S. If you choose to make a list I'd love to see it! Share in the comments or tag me on social @miss_wit