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My smile isn’t always there

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My smile isn’t always there.

I fake it well. I plaster those pearly whites like it’s going out of style. No matter the situation. Like full-on Tyra Banks Smize-it-up with glowing eyeballs. But truthfully, there’s nothing behind them but overwhelming fear of failure and suppressed tears.

No one would ever know.

I laugh when I would rather cry.
I engage intently with those around me when I would prefer to be curled up into a ball of sadness on the floor.
I entertain when I just want to be left alone.
I engulf myself in daily tasks when I am longing to stare at a wall.

No one would ever know.

My energy level is at a 12/10 because I choose to show that to the world. And because I have 3 little people who look to me for guidance and support.

No one would ever know.

But full transparency… my smile is lost sometimes. So really all you’re seeing are teeth with empty squinty eyes. But no one would be the wiser.

Why am I telling you this?
Because it’s normal.
It’s human.
It’s real.
It’s ok.

And now you know.

If you’ve lost your smile for a minute, don’t panic. I promise you’ll find it again.

Hang in there.
You are not…you are NEVER alone.

Love and Hugs,
Nicki, Momming All the Boys

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