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Motherhood is a masterclass in learning and unlearning

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Mommas, we have so much to learn when we become responsible for raising up another human being. All we know going in is what we’ve experienced on the other side and what we’ve been taught is the “right way” to do life—especially the “right way” to mother. Whether from our parents, family, friends, society, religion, etc., our mind is full of rules and constructs we believe we must live by if we are going to be successful in our role and do well by our kids.

The thing is, no matter how many instructions or ideals we think will guide us, we find out pretty quick that a lot of the shoulds and shouldn’ts sound great in theory but often end up being a bust in practice. After 27 years of this gig, I still don’t know much of anything for certain. So, motherhood is basically earning a Ph.D. in the art of winging it and hoping for the best as we learn what works and what doesn’t for our family and our situation.

But we also have to unlearn the mindsets and beliefs that don’t serve us well and prevent us from thriving in our role and trusting in our inner guide. Starting with the lies we’ve told ourselves about not being enough, or being a failure, or incompetent.

We do a lot of negative self-talk as moms and this becomes habitual because we are measuring up what’s happening in real-time against what we believe is ‘supposed’ to happen for success. As we unlearn, we start to script a new and more accurate story about who we are and how best to mother our children which builds confidence and empowers us as we journey along.

All. of us are doing our best one day at a time and that's what matters most.


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