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Challenge: Life Changes

Mother of Another's

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WOW! Where does one Mompreneur start? As I sit here replaying all the moments of this life change, having kids, being a parent, I realize I have actually done it twice. First, as a “step-mom” (a word our family rarely uses except to easily explain to others my relationship to our three older kids) and a second time when I gave birth to our youngest. For sure becoming a mother figure to someone else’s kids has been thus far, way more difficult, hmmm, more complex, more cerebral – my actions and words didn’t come naturally as they do with my birth son. I didn’t want to be too soft, or too hard, too direct, or too wish-washy, too sensitive, or not sensitive enough.

I joke with other moms in-my local moms’ group that I have done things in reverse, raising pre-teens and teens and that’s the really tough stuff. Potty training has nothing on an anguished teen who is trying to balance the love of their mother and new love of a "step-mom".

For the first few years in these kids lives my interactions were very calculated and often discussed with my husband before hand regarding the best approach whether it be verbal or physical interaction. We tried to make things as comfortable and easy of a transition for them having me around and eventually married to their father. Over the past seven years of tears and laughs, our relationships have grown and developed substantially, developing a mutually earned respect for each other. I still talk through the most sensitive situations in my head and often run them by my husband. But these kids have learned to appreciate me and what I bring to their lives. While I have learned to be comfortable with who I am and how I naturally relate to them. Right or wrong it is honest, it is with love.

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