New Year’s Resolution 2020

When my dear friend and photographer, Rachel, sent me this photo I had two immediate thoughts: one- this photo is so beautiful and two- OMG- my boobs are so saggy and look at my rolls! Those were quickly followed by the question “Should I ask her to photoshop this?”

I know I’m not alone often listening to that critical voice ready to shout out any imperfection or flaw, anything apparent through the lens of I’m not good enough or I’m not enough. I have learned though to identify that voice and talk right back to her, because she never says anything worth listening to.

So no I’m not going to photoshop this picture because this is life and this is real- and photoshop and filters are often what I hate most about social media. This is me. The woman who had the privilege of nursing 4 healthy babies for over 4 years, which is hard and certainly not for everyone, but I did it. The woman who likes to cook lamb curry and bake Christmas cookies for her family. The woman who enjoys eating real food with her best girlfriends who will still order pizza at 1 am, even though we are 43, if one of us wants it. ( BTW real friends don’t let girlfriends binge alone.) And my body is the result of this fullness, this joy, this real life.

For once in my ENTIRE life, this year I decided I’m only doing one resolution. No weight loss, no do better at organizing my house, no make my kids eat more vegetables. Only one resolution- accept that I am who I am and that is enough. I am going to love the heck out of this woman and everyone else, while trying each day to live a healthy, beautiful life in the way that I am called to- one step at a time and one day at a time led by a still, small, kind voice.

So 2020 bring it. I’m finally ready for you.