Tantrums are a burst of tears , boogers, screams and rage that baffle us and that even frustrates us as mothers. We know it can be desperate to try to calm our little wrathful creature, but the way you handle these explosive situations will mark your child's emotional future.
Something that many families are surprised of is the peculiar character that many small children have shown since early ages . It is striking that they differ so much from other children and even their own siblings. It's common, too, that we wonder who they look like and where they've got that almost indomitable genius.
Well, there is one aspect that needs clarification from the beginning. The personality of a child depends on many factors, the context in which it grows and the interaction received are key elements. However, there is a genetic factor that we will have to assume, accept and understand . Each child is unique and has its own character . Moreover, we will see it from the first month through its style of food and rest.
Don't try to find a reason why your child experiences so many tantrums. Simply manage, understand and channel . It is a task that you probably had not planned, but we assure you that we are all qualified to be skilled architects of that emotional world of our children that sometimes happens explosively.
Tantrums begin soon and should be managed as soon as possible
A boy or a girl will start showing their tantrums from the year. In fact, they will be intense until 4 years. It is that stage where the brains of the little ones begin to mature, to make more intimate contact with what surrounds them to demand their space, their things, their needs. Click here to ge your mobile cases online
Of not having them, of not obtaining them, they explode. This experienced frustration is really painful for our children, and if we do not act wisely, intuitively and patiently in this first stage between the first year and the 4, the subject can be complicated in the following ages.
Tantrums should NEVER be ignored
It is important that we remember two key terms:
- The tantrums are not ignored : it will be no use for our son to cry, shout and kick that furniture until he gets tired. What we get in that case is that you feel even more frustrated.
- We must not intensify tantrums , that is, responding with shouts further increases the emotional burden on both sides, in us and in children
We must be clear about one aspect, from the first year to 3 years our children are not aware of what happens to them. They feel overwhelmed by their emotional world and think that what happens to them has no solution.
Always remember that these explosions of rage are a "bad way" to tell you that something happens that you must understand.
Calm down, I'm here with you and we will solve it without raising your voice
Both the child himself and we, as mothers and fathers, must understand that growing implies on the one hand accepting the frustration and even the pain that it entails.
- They will not always have what they want and that, they must understand it from the first year.
- When your child bursts into his tantrum, don't turn away from him, or tell him to shut up with a scream. With a calm voice, we will encourage you to calm down. An expression and a calm voice creates a suitable climate for emotions to relax.
- Until the child has not stopped crying we cannot talk to him, so ideally, it is up to him to let them see that we are there and prevent them from harming themselves.
If the tantrum happens in a public space, try to take it to a quiet place where you are both alone so you can calmly vent.
It is never too early to educate in Emotional Intelligence
Between the first year and the 4 years the most important moment opens to lay the foundations of an authentic Emotional Intelligence.
To do this, we invite you to consider these simple strategies.
- Children need to understand their limits, what can be done and what not . The sooner they understand it, the more security they will find in their day to day.
- Do not be afraid to give an "NO" on time, something so simple avoids further problems.
- Be consistent with the rules and never break them.
- Make use of cards with drawings. On each card we will draw an emotion: anger, fear, sadness ... It is necessary that children learn as soon as possible to identify those negative emotions to know how to channel them.
- To do this, we will explain what can be done with each emotion. «If I feel anger I must explain out loud why I feel this way». Learning to communicate emotions in the first person is something very useful that we can favor from early stages in a simple, elementary way.
In conclusion, we are aware that each child is a world and that some may become very demanding. However remember, the secret is to be patient , always be close and emotional and understand that emotional education with a child starts from the first day you hold him in his arms.