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Those tiny fingers and toes. Butterfly wisps of eyelashes. The scent of newly born skin. Those are the memories that I'll keep with me through all of parenthood. The first few weeks of my child's life were exhilarating, terrifying, and completely magical. 

But here are a few other memories I'll keep with me. Being embarrassed to talk to other mothers about certain aspects of parenting. My child was drinking formula at 8 weeks old. I was a single mom, by choice, still trying to co-parent with my child's father. I returned to work when she was two weeks old. I resented losing my autonomy. All these things I experienced, and none of them I felt like I could share. 

Along with the great amount of love that entered my life the day my daughter was born, there also came a great amount of judgement. I felt scrutinized for every choice I made. I curled up, within myself, and protected my soul by withdrawing from other parents.

Years later, I've caught myself many times casting similar judgement upon parents- the same type that sent me running from the opportunity to connect and find a community. I am guilty myself, but it is something I actively work on every single day. I'm thankful I was able to find my place within the parenting circle through blogging and sharing stories. I hope to inspire truthful conversation that helps us realize we have far more in common than we have in contrast. 

So what do I wish I would have known? I wish I would have known that I was doing an amazing job, despite what anyone else might think. I wish I would have known that there were people out there who didn't care if I breastfed, used cloth diapers, allowed screen time, vaccinated or anything else. They still thought I had value, wisdom, and incredible strength. I wish I would have known that despite all the mistakes I would undoubtedly make, my child would become her own source of amazement and wonder. I wish I would have known that there were other parents who were doubting themselves just as much as I was, and I would never have the opportunity to connect with them unless I spoke out. I wish I would have known that nobody gets it all right, not in parenting or anything else, which is what makes us in this together.