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Challenge: Pregnancy Secrets

Labor is NOT like a sitcom — but sometimes it may feel like one

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Over 40 weeks and just waiting for our little love
Over 40 weeks and just waiting for our little love...

I have been very open about infertility and my pregnancy journey but I rarely talk about my labor — my very, very long labor. Since we were attentive students at all of the birthing classes and worked with a great team, I really thought I knew everything I needed to know about giving birth. I was SO not prepared and it was nothing like I thought it would be. I truly thought my water would break and we would see our bundle of joy merely hours later.

I was just about a week overdue and I had a scheduled induction for my son in two days. I was still trying to remain quite active, going for walks, going for lunch with friends and still teaching my Pilates classes.

One night the rare “blood moon” was going to be at its peak. Oblivious to the celestial sign, I thought that since I had two more days to take naps, we should go see it. After all, the next one will not be here for another 70 years! I will admit it was magical (maybe a bit too magical) but as we arrived back home to our high rise condo in downtown D.C., I was totally embarrassed because I thought I peed myself. Yup, I thought, It’s official, my husband will never look at me the same again.

Thankfully, my husband and I had a good laugh about it but he said, “Are you sure that was not your water breaking?” “Of course it’s not,” I said with authority, since there was no big “rush” of water. In my mind I was thinking of a big TV or movie labor, like in “Sex in the City,” but of course I was totally wrong. I was relieved to be wrong (yes, another rare occurrence that night) and that hadn't peed my pants in front of my husband.

Contractions started shortly after BUT they were so far apart. Our doctor, doula and midwife (Yup, that’s a lot of cooks in the kitchen! lol) told me to wait to go to the hospital until the contractions were closer. Well, anyone who knows me knows I can’t sit still even if it’s 2:30 in the morning. I started doing laundry in the wee hours of the morning.

When it came time to go to the hospital, we ordered an Uber. I am totally dating myself now because it was when you didn’t pre-populate the address and you just told the driver as if it were a taxicab. We hopped in the car — well, let’s be honest, I needed help to get in the SUV — and the driver asked us, “Where to?” My husband responded “GW,” which is the name of the hospital, but the driver thought we said the “JW,” a hotel down the street. (In his defense, we did have a suitcase.) We pulled up and we clarified, “No, GW hospital, we are in labor.” At that moment his face turned white as a ghost and he began panic driving in downtown D.C. We assured him we didn’t think we would have an Uber baby and to please take his time. Again, I felt like I was literally in a sitcom, maybe even a "Seinfeld" episode. I could hear the possible dialogue in my head as it was happening!

Once we were checked into the hospital, the sitcom seemed to continue. This time I felt like Rachel from “Friends” — everyone around me kept having their babies as we waited in labor. I mean everybody….

Still waiting….

After 47 hours of labor and help with the induction after my water broke, our sweet Landon August was born. Our last surprise was his size. The whole time we were told the baby was around 6 pounds. I was a little suspicious knowing how large my belly was for my 5’2” frame. The look on the doctor's face and mine when he came out was priceless. He was in fact 8 pounds, 3 ounces and 21 inches long! To me he looked like a 2-month-old, not a newborn!

The one thing we were told that proved to be 100% accurate was the phenomenon of labor amnesia. Almost immediately after giving birth, the previous 47 hours were a blur and I couldn’t wait for him to be a big brother.

In complete shock that our double rainbow arrived…and that he is SO big!

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