In High School, I had to take care of a “Baby Think it Over” for my Child Development class. One of those interactive dolls that keep you up all night screaming, that you have to “feed” and “change”…
On day 3 of taking care of this plastic progeny, I got screamed at by a lady at the store for laying the doll in the front seat of the cart. I wish I would’ve known then that that would be an indication of the judgement I would receive in my motherhood journey many years later.
The next time I received judgement, my baby wasn’t even born yet.
One day I got a little messenger ding. A friend of a friend had messaged me. Ok. Cool. I check my little message box- and she has out of the blue, asked me whether or not I was going to have my son circumcised.
Frankly, I was a little taken aback. I mean, an almost virtual stranger (I had met her twice, I believe) was asking me a very private thing. I kind of laughed it off and said it hadn’t really come up yet. But, that would probably be a discussion for my Husband and I. Then she came back, rather rudely, bombarding me with things—I should maybe also mention she didn’t have a son?
I thought, “wow- I’m going to really try to start keeping my mouth shut.”
I’m not going to say I never judge another Mom. That I’ve never had a nasty thought about someone else’s parenting style. But, I try to keep that stuff to myself. Because, motherhood is HARD. We’re mostly all just trying our best to keep it all together. Sometimes we drop the ball, have a bad day, and someone may catch us off guard with a rude remark that will really cut us deeply.
We already question our parenting. Whether we’re doing what’s best for our kids. We REALLY don’t need someone jumping in and telling us we’re doing it wrong. (Or messaging us on the internet trying to tell us how to parent).
Let’s remember we’re all having a hard time and keep those harsh comments to ourselves. Maybe next time, message someone and tell them what a great job they’re doing. Or tell the Mom at the store how amazing she is. A little kindness goes a long way.
A good rule of thumb is to ask someone else how they would think about a comment before bringing it up to another Mom. Sometimes we have to hear what it sounds like before we make that call.