Moms are constantly striving to find the illusive concept of 'balance.' But often what we envision for our ideal life is not realistic. The older my kids get, the more complex our life becomes. Something's gotta give, and every family has to figure out what they want to prioritize at the top of their list.
Many moms also face additional stress due to mental health struggles or other challenges. I have depression and anxiety. This impacts how much I can accomplish each day depending on how I'm feeling. Luckily I feel pretty good most of the time, but there still are times where I go though lows. It is extremely frustrating to feel like you can't do everything that you usually do, or everything that you want to do.
My two youngest boys keep me very busy
I once told my therapist how frustrated I was because I felt like I could only do one thing well at a time. My therapist asked me, "Why is that a problem?" It was hard for me to answer that question. Was it really a problem? So what if I suck at a few things while I focus on one important thing at a time? I can allow myself to do the bare minimum for a while. And then when I feel good about where I'm at with my top priority, I can move on to the next. I rotate through phases of focusing on one thing or another.
Over time, I feel like I've developed a little better routine and habits so that I am eventually able to accomplish more. But it didn't happen overnight. Sometimes it felt like progress was painfully slow. I had to learn to accept that. I am not super mom. I'm not super anything. And that's okay. I'm me.
Sometimes you have to let the ball drop and learn to be okay with it. What I choose to drop from my life may seem too important for someone else to drop, and vice versa. We get to choose what is most important for our families. Feel confident in your right to make these decisions and try not to worry about what anyone else is doing.
Other parents might not see me joining the PTA, gardening, decorating my house, or going to the gym five days a week, but that doesn't mean I'm not working hard to be a good mom in my own way. If I force myself to do things that I don't have the capacity to do, that takes away from being the mom I need to be for my family. It threatens my mental health.
I love myself too much to sabotage myself in this way.
You are in charge of your life. Don't be ashamed to make the choices that need to be made. You are the one who has to live with the effects of those decisions. So go ahead and let some balls drop while you hold your head up high.