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Owning my wear and tear

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Today I’m owning my wear and tear. You heard me right. And you’re probably thinking what in the name of all that is good and holy does that mean? I’ll explain in a second.

But first, why today? Because I’m tired.

I’m tired of doing it all every single day on repeat with very little acknowledgment because it’s expected. And when I say it all, I mean everything: The mental load to the laundry load, and everything in-between.

I’m tired of excusing my crazy schedule as temporary so acceptable—because is that really a healthy justification to make?

I’m tired that once I tuck my daughters in for the night, I have to rush to get work done so I don’t fall too behind (I work from home) --because nowadays it’s hard to afford anything without the double income.

I’m tired of holding the infant in one hand while working with the other, because it’s her fussy time, making it hard to get anything done.

I’m tired of eating dinner at 10PM because my day is so jam-packed.

But today I’m owning my wear and tear.

Because I’m tired.

Because if we as SAHM’s complain, we are told we are being ungrateful because we’re lucky to be home with our kids no matter the sacrifice. And if we complain about going back to work, we are met with, we are lucky because at least we get a break. I’m tired of someone always judging our feelings as mothers. We deserve to feel whatever the heck we want.

I’m tired of society telling us that we need to do it all and look good while doing it.


Have a baby but then get your six-pack back—but when in the world would we have time to work out? Right now, the only exercise I get is bouncing around my newborn with colic.

But no, we have it all handled because we are “supermoms”. But in reality, we are human beings. I'd love superpowers, but unfortunately, my only magic trick is the speed I can change a diaper standing up---but that’s practice, if abracadabra worked it would save me a lot of time.

Do everything, be everything, and wear sky-high stilettos while doing it. That seems to be the consensus on what motherhood should be.

We have to do it all without wear or tear. But today, I’m owning it.

If I’m going to do it all, I’m going to do it my way, and not care about other opinions.

I’m going to do it with cellulite and sweatpants. I’m going to do it by playing with my kids because I like to, even though popular opinion is to let them entertain themselves.

Because owning your wear and tear is respecting yourself by accepting the way you parent and your appearance as good enough, so there’s no shame.

If you don’t cook, own it, because that’s how you parent best.

If you let your kids watch YouTube to get a break, own it, because that's how you parent best.

If you co-sleep with all of your children, own it, because that’s how you parent best.

Because today I’m owning my wear and tear and so should you.

Because if I'm going to have this schedule, it will be my way completely, because that’s what works best for MY family.

As mothers, we are pulled in so many directions—and we can’t stop the pulling—we just have to take a deep breath, tackle it all, and hope for the best.

So let’s tackle it in whatever way WE choose.

Photo: Me putting my baby in a Bjorn to do work as a solution to the working with one hand problem. Now, all I have to worry about is my back…

This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder is available on Amazon:

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