I'm done chasing your bedtime.
Watching the hours going by,
sometimes painfully slowly,
as I silently beg for them to speed up.
Speed up so that your head can sink into your soft pillow,
and I can sink into
a good book,
a glass of wine,
a bag of chips,
conversation with Daddy,
or just my overworked biscuit into the couch.
It's easy when you kids are energetic and young, and the days are long to fall into the trap that is wishing this precious time away.
I'm done chasing your bedtime for the wrong reasons.
I'm done getting into bed with you and not fully appreciating what an incomparable blessing it is to
feel your body next to mine,
hear your heart beating,
notice your healthy breath,
smell your sweet baby wash-smelling hair,
and know that out of all the mamas in the world, God chose me to be yours.
Tomorrow will be hard, no doubt.
So will every day.
There will be tantrums, trials, and tears, both yours and mine.
And while this mama surely deserves and desires breaks, it breaks my heart to admit that I'm novicely rushing our days, you kids and myself, and for what?
Time is the one thing we have no control over, but what I can exercise control over is how I spend mine, and this is my vow - to you and me -- not to spend another minute chasing your bedtime.
And, if ever I do chase it, I promise it'll be in pursuit of an opportunity to smother you in my cuddles and soak up the pure pleasure that is your pint-sized body nuzzled all up in mine.