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Challenge: Cabin Fever

I'm Burning Up With Cabin Fever

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Dear God is it cold out. But you know what's not cold? My heart. Because I get to spend the day trapped inside my freaking house with my freaking four children. And oh look, four of their freaking friends.

I have really, really strict rules when it comes to drinking during the day. You know the old saying, it's five o'clock somewhere? It's gotta be five o'clock here for me to start. Well I go by the eastern time zone. So it's really four o'clock here when it's five o'clock there. It's a little trick I play on myself.
On days like today, when I'm held hostage by mother freaking nature, I'm on more of a European time zone. I think Ireland is about six hours ahead, so I should be drunk by now. And I'm Irish, so it's okay. My body can adjust accordingly.

Of course my hubs is nowhere to be found. Turns out he has to go in early and stay late on today of all days. All of the sudden he's Tom freaking Skilling.

He must be so lonely out there. In his office all by himself. Nothing but the quiet to keep him warm. Bless his heart.

I just, ever so politely, asked all of the offsprings to get their little smart-mouthed behinds to the basement for the remaining daylight hours. If they oblige, I will reward them with pizza. I feel bad making the pizza delivery guy come out in this weather. But not as bad as I would feel if I woke up in jail with a DUI for driving around with eight kids and a killer buzz.


Although sometimes I think ending up in prison would be awesome. Eating my meals alone. Using the toilet alone. Sleeping in a bed alone. Taking care of me and only me. Makes me want to down a bottle of mouthwash and get right in my minivan and rear-end a police car.

I might miss my kids. Sometimes I miss them when they're sleeping. But I'm confident I would get over it.

Oh how the grass is always greener. A mom can dream.

I like to look on the bright side of things. I am thankful that it's so damn effin cold out that everyone's house is closed up as tight as can be. So that means no one can hear all the God damn yelling that's going on here.
I went to the store last night as soon as I heard the weather report. I ran right past all those empty bread shelves. Right to the liquor aisle. I'm no fool. I live in Chicago. But we're fresh off the holiday and my cabinets are bare. Damn drunken relatives.
Bread will make you fat. Booze will make you forget. Words to live by. Especially in an emergency weather situation like this.

The Listerine I keep in the medicine cabinet is strictly for lice and late night emergencies. Like when I have the DTs and can't sleep. A swig or two of that and I'm good to go. It kills louse just as fast as it kills my feeling. Singular.

I know I will make it through this day. I will survive. But if school is canceled again tomorrow, there's really no telling.

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