My husband and I always knew we wanted to be parents. So, when we found out we were having triplets, we jumped right in. Just days after the revealing ultrasound while I was at home horribly ill with “morning” sickness, my husband traded in our two-door hatchback car for a giant Suburban. It was our first reality shift for each of our identities. We were no longer just “Laura and Jeremy” who could get through our days driving a Ford Focus. We were “mom and dad” and, dang, we loved it.
When our babies (two boys and one girl) were born, I paused my career as an advertising executive so that I could be a mom full-time. The demands were like nothing I could have planned for. It was 24/7 feeding, diaper changing, laundry, spit-up, and nap schedules. You know, all of the glorious things. Being a mom of multiples and coming from an agency environment that operated and thrived on process - I naturally translated that to my mom world.
I made a detailed schedule of our revolving door of helpers. I logged feedings, wet diapers, dirty diapers, sleep times, and medicine distribution in a binder. I researched homemade baby food and blended their meals from scratch. I created lesson plans to break their days into various learning segments. To find my balance at the time (code for: use my brain), I studied for and became a Certified Nutrition Consultant. When they were toddler-aged, I also ran two marathons in back-to-back years.
And while, of course, I did it for them, hindsight tells me I was also doing it for me. I thrive on goals and while I was so grateful to be able to be home with them to watch them grow up, I missed my non-mom identity. I missed using my brain for something other than keeping three tiny humans happy and healthy. Now, my kids are school-aged and I’m loving this entrepreneurial adventure.
I’m just going to go ahead and say it. I enjoy working. Guess what? That’s OK to say. That doesn’t make me any less grateful to be a mom. It’s OK to be mom and to be ME. It’s possible to love both and strive to be great at both.
There’s such a stigma that moms can’t say something like that or feel that way. There’s subconscious judgment surrounding moms who choose to work outside of the home. There’s also subconscious judgment surrounding moms who choose to be a stay-at-home mom. Let’s make a pact to just stop the subconscious judgement altogether and root each other on instead.
You’re a stay-at-home mom? Wonderful! You’re a rising executive at a law firm? Get it, girl!
Whatever your passion is, don’t ignore it. Go after it and let your kids cheer you on along the way.