Having two toddlers this close in age isn’t for the faint of heart.
I get asked all the time-how do you do it?
This is how.
Things like tidying up get pushed aside.
The dishes pile up.
The laundry doesn’t get put away.
My kids rarely have clothes on because it’s not worth the fight and my eldest prefers to be naked since he’s been potty trained. And I'm too tired to fight it because I’d rather he be naked at home and not pee on my floor or worse.
In the age of Facebook, Instagram, etc. It’s so hard not to put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. I know I’ve been having epic panic attacks because 90% of the time I feel like I’m failing.
I feel like my kids deserve a mom who showers every day, takes them out to play dates daily, and never orders take out.
I feel like my husband deserves a wife who doesn’t cry at a drop of a hat, yells at him for forgetting to take out the trash, or sleeping in a little on the weekend.
More than anything I wish that I fit the perfect mold of a mom that I want to be. That I aim to be. That my anxiety tells me I need to be.
But I can’t. I’m not a robot. I’m a flawed human. I make mistakes. I have several chronic illnesses. I have terrible anxiety that makes me so angry at myself that i have to hide in the bathroom and scream alone for a few minutes because I feel like the world around me is crumbling because I failed.
The reality is that even as I sit at my kitchen table admiring the sparkling clean floors and tidied up toys is that it’s not going to last. It took my kids .5 seconds to make the last mess and they’re going to do it again.
And that’s okay.
They’re learning while the climb in and out of boxes, throwing toys on the floor, and taking all the diapers out of their diaper bag.
They don’t see the mess as mommy failing, they just appreciate the I’m letting them have fun.
My kids are fed, healthy, and happy.
I needed to remember that I’m good enough, so I figured maybe you do too.