Today I considered changing my Twitter profile pic. As my Twitter account is my writer profile, my current profile pic is this headshot, but I briefly thought maybe I should change it to my cartoon logo.
I love both of them. Both were created by dear, talented friends. Both serve their purpose.
But then I thought about why I was wondering if I should change it.
It seems that whenever I get into a discussion on Twitter that other people disagree with (in this case, the importance of representation in movies), the fat comments come out. It's like clockwork. If any of my comments gain any popularity or exposure, people come out of the woodwork to suggest that maybe instead of using my brain and my voice, I should buy a treadmill, or stop eating, etc.
To be clear, it doesn't upset me. I know that sounds weird, but it really doesn't. As I have said in past posts, I know I'm fat, I'm not ashamed of that; pointing out that I am fat has no effect on me. This is information I have already.
But I am getting annoyed with putting thought and care into responses to have them derailed by fat comments.
I get a lot of non-fat-calling stupid responses too, but at least they are trying to argue my points. Reducing me to my body, no matter how unashamed of it I am, is pointless and irritating.
Imagine trying to have conversations and having people constantly interjecting that they like Corn Flakes. It doesn't matter what the distraction is, it's an annoying non-sequitor and it's getting on my nerves.
So I considered changing my profile pic to avoid these derailments.
And then I didn't.
Why should I have to change my behaviour, my face, to avoid idiots. We tell children not to change themselves to avoid bullying, why should I? Why give them the satisfaction of having the impression they succeeded in hurting me (they didn't.)
So the profile stays. And so does my brain and my voice and my advocacy. If you are so threatened by me all you can do is state the obvious about my body size, then I'm so sorry your life is so pathetic.
If you would like to have an adult conversation, I'll be over here, not buying a treadmill.