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I Never Wanted to Take Antidepressants

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I never wanted to take medication. Asking for “help” for depression and anxiety was literally the last thing I wanted to do. But after exhausting all other options, it was my only choice.

I can only speak for myself, but I would imagine that most people who take medications to manage their mental health don’t really want to take them. I didn’t dream as a little girl of growing up to take pills. This wasn’t my aspiration in life. But it’s reality. And it’s what many of us have to do.


Medications pictured are Lexapro, Wellbutrin, and Buspar.

I used to feel the need to justify all the reasons why I needed to take medication to preemptively combat other people’s judgment. I felt like I had to prove I really “needed” it.

What I know now is that there is no shame in taking medication. What other people think about it is their problem, not mine.

I’ve had to have several adjustments over the years to what I take, adding Wellbutrin and Buspar to my ride or die, Lexapro.

I’d be lying if I said I was happy to add more medications to my list. I’ve never been “happy” about it. But what I have been is hopeful.

Medication gave me the ability to hope again, to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Medication gave me enough of a boost so I could function in my daily life, the strength to sift through different issues in therapy, and the motivation to learn how to better take care of myself.

Am I fixed? Am I cured? No, and I may never be. But I’ll never stop trying to improve my mental health so I can give my family the life they deserve.

Meds are a tool to help me do that.

Sometimes people make remarks that imply medication is a shortcut for people who aren’t trying hard enough and/or that I get some sort of “high” from antidepressants. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I take medication because I have to, and not because I want to, just like the majority of others who take medication for their mental health.

So I’m sharing my story to show others they aren’t alone and to help end the stigma of taking medication. It’s your life, so do what you need to do to live it to the fullest! You don’t have to keep suffering because you feel like it’s your fault. You deserve to be happy.

This post was originally published on the author's facebook page.

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