I am having a hard time remembering some details from when Sophie was younger. What age is it where you can start using tranquilizer darts for a toddler sleep aid, again? I know cow’s milk is after 1 year, and no whiskey until 4 years old. But dog-gone-it for whatever reason I can’t recall this particular milestone.

In case it makes a difference I’m not talking the tranquilizers they shoot from choppers for rhinos (those are a last resort). I’m talking the little straws with darts that you sneak up on people in the jungle with. Maybe if she hasn’t reached the necessary age for that I could dip a marshmallow in Benadryl and aim for her mouth. Your assistance in this matter is appreciated, Google did not have the answer.

Also when is a good time to broach the following conversation with the oldest (5), as I notice no one has done it for me as of yet: Stop “sneaking” into your parent’s bed. You are not fooling anyone. Probably due to the elbow drop that always occurs as you attempt to get over your mother and into the middle of the bed (you do realize there is another side of the bed, right?) Please remain in your own bed until your mother comes to tell you that the sun has come up. Even if the sun hasn’t come up, do not argue. It is still time to get up. Think of your mother as the sunshine, it will make her less of a liar when she wakes you up saying the sun is up.

Additionally your mom is not a pillow pet. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to fluff her stomach and make it tidy for your head to lay on when you are in the aforementioned bed. It is not appreciated. She is a human being (a darn fine one at that) with feelings. One of those feelings is don’t touch her while she sleeps. Is it confusing if I talk in third person?