I’m a good mom, no wait. I’m a GREAT mom because I make and take time for ME. That’s right; this mom focuses on herself. As moms we rip and run, wipe butts, deal with snotty noses, chauffeur, short order cooks(not really, mine better eat what’s in that kitchen or cook themselves. I AIN’T got time for that!), laundry, homework, etc. The list goes on for days. In a nutshell, we do a lot to ensure our little people are happy.
I DIDN’T want kids. Don’t turn your nose up, I'm honest, and it’s ok. Ladies, it’s ok if you’re reading this and you don’t want kids. It’s how you feel at the moment. It may or may not change. It’s your truth; live in your truth girlfriend!
One of my fears about kids was about giving up ME. Look, ME TIME is essential, ok! I like ME TIME! I was a little selfish thing, not going to lie. And I’m still pretty selfish. And it's ok to be a bit selfish to ensure you're taken care of.
Repeat these words: I NEED ME TIME, and I DESERVE ME TIME
The words, “once you start having kids, you won’t be able to go out. You can’t buy anything nice anymore. Your life isn’t your life anymore.” In other words. "Once you have kids, Your life is over!"
And you know what?
I would see ladies out in these streets looking and acting just like their lives were over. Shhhooootttt..that wasn’t going to be me. And heaven forbid the ones who did get out. The ones who didn’t take time to get out talked about them like a dog. Naw! And I’ll be honest, I was looking at the moms who got dressed, went out with their friends, husbands, boyfriends, etc. sideways too. Why? Because you were "NOT a good mom" if you were not around your kids 24 hours a day.
Let me tell you something real quick.
Being a great mom requires you to have some ME TIME! Kids will drive you bonkers if you don't step away. They are little beings without any self-control, and mom, you're always required to have self-control. Like, you can't just lose your doggone mind and say what you're really thinking to the little humans running around.
Repeat after me: I NEED and DESERVE to focus on ME!
My kids are now in the tween and teen years. We went from the physical tired to emotional tired. There’s a difference in parenting babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and teenagers. Who is at my house today? Are we crying, laughing, mad? Do we say good morning or do we tiptoe on by and act like we don't see them? I haven’t reached being a mom to adult children yet, but sure that’s a whole different type of energy there as well. Tweens and teens are full of emotions. And that rollercoaster moves fast with a lot of loops and turns.
I still remember when our eldest daughter was born. Both grandparents left me with this little baby. "No! Don't leave me!" My husband was back at work, and it was all on me. And man, things were looking rough. I was looking rough. My hubby came home one day and told me to go out shopping and dinner. Of course, I thought he meant we were all going, you know, as a family.
"No! Sybil. You need to get out of the house and without the baby." “Oh, snap! This means I need to get dressed.” “Yes, get dressed. In real clothes and not that T-shirt that you keep wearing inside out.” The struggle was real guys. Like, what was up with putting my clothes on backward? It didn't matter what it was; it was inside or backward.
I was happy and ready to shop. I love shoes, so let’s do this!
Off to the mall I went. Every store I stopped in, I walked out — such cute shoes, skirts, tops, etc. But I’m a horrible mom for shopping for myself and not our baby. So, off to shop for cute baby stuff. I did stop and had myself a nice quiet meal. It felt great to be able to eat hot food. Y’all, our firstborn did NOT like me eating. She would scream bloody murder every time I grabbed a fork.
Back home and I walked in the house like a boss.
Hubby kept our baby alive (moms, the men can take care of the kids just fine. Let them be). He asked what I purchased and excited I started showing him. He wasn’t amused, not one bit. Yeah, we took everything back a few days later. This trip to the mall was supposed to be about me.
A few days passed, and I decided to tell my granny about this situation during our weekly phone conversation, and she would say to me how GREAT of a MOM I was for thinking about my child and not putting myself first.
Nope, she agreed with my hubby. Hurt my heart and asked if I remembered her advice.
The BEST Advice From Granny - WISDOM FOLKS
Put God first, husband and self second, raise your children. You need to be taken care of to take care of anyone else.
I’m a GREAT MOM because I take a little time for ME!
Taking time for yourself doesn't mean you don't love your children. It doesn't mean you're taking anything away from them. By taking ME TIME, you're giving them a fresh and better YOU!