I had two healthy pregnancies.
From them I had two babies.
I birthed both. In a hospital. With an epidural. (Praise the Lord for the person who invented this!)
I breast and bottle/formula fed.
I used disposable diapers.
I went back to work at 8 weeks with each.
My kids go to daycare.
I let them watch TV. I let them sleep with me when necessary. I let them cry when necessary. My husband and I established a bedtime routine with a specific bed time. We use essential oils. My son was on an antibiotic just a week ago for strep throat. My kids get spanked when they don't do as told. We use the time-out method. We stay up too late and sleep in sometimes. We eat pancakes for dinner. We let them stay overnight with grandparents. We take them to restaurants. We buy them ice cream. We cook dinner for them. We read books. We play ball. We bandage their boo-boos. We tell them to shake it off in true Taylor Swift style.
We make choices all day everyday with our kids. What choices we make all boil down to one simple thing: We love them and we want them to know it.
Do your kids know that you love them? I bet they do, even if some of your choices don't look like mine. So why the waging mommy war?
You've seen it - you've probably even done it a time or two (guilty as charged here). You have judged a momma based on what you see in a moment's time. You probably judged me as a drug my child out of Target for a tantrum. You may have judged me when I picked up the box of Lucky Charms off the cereal aisle. You might have judged me when you saw my daughter's mismatched outfit and cockatoo hair (yes this is our household term for crazy hair). But there is a list of things you didn't see.
You didn't see that later that night I laid in bed and talked to my child about acting out over a toy that I said no to buying. You didn't see me loving on her and kissing her and helping her to say her bedtime prayers. You didn't see that those Lucky Charms are a treat on a Saturday morning when I get to snuggle with my littles since we've been apart some during the week. You didn't see the excitement in my child's eyes when she proudly dressed herself and waltzed right out of her room boldly exclaiming how pretty she looked (and I thoroughly agreed ;)). Those are the moments you don't always see - so why judge me on the two minutes you did witness?
Let's make a deal. Stop the mom-judging. It's tiring - remember I am dragging my 45 pound child out of a store - my body is weary! My mind is tired! Isn't yours? Don't you have a child who talks from sun-up to sun-down? Surely there is another out there! My soul needs rest and sometimes a friendly glance from another mom in the trenches who can totally relate on any other given day. Knowing you are not alone is such a gift to a mother's spirit.
Our choices may look different on how we feed, clothe, and discipline our children, but our love for them and for others should outshine all of it.
At the end of the day, all kids really need is love. Let's focus on that.