Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Why I Love My Mom Bod

I don't wear jeans, but I do wear self-love, motherhood, happiness and recovery

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article

I don’t wear jeans.

I am a sweatpants girl for life, but not just because I am a comfort queen — and a proud one at that. It’s because I have suffered from eating disorders for most of my life.

Still, don't get it? Let me explain.

When you have it in your head that you aren’t good enough, you will never fit in, and no one will ever like you because of your imperfections — pants size becomes way too important.



Because you can somewhat control the size of your pants or it may become your way to cope with those negative feelings. You can’t control other people’s opinions or what they say that can hurt you —but this, this is yours for keeps.

And if you achieve it, maybe things will be different.

It won’t.

I don’t wear jeans,

because shopping served as a big self-loathing trigger and self-esteem deflator. The sizes would define me. If I were a size x, I was doing well. If I were any size bigger…well, that would be an automatic shame spiral.

I don’t wear jeans,

because I still have body image issues, and I am conditioned to believe my thighs are too big in them unless there is a thigh gap. I don’t think that in other people, but with myself, I can’t get past it. And after three kids, the only gap I have in my household is definitely not between my thighs — it's the gap in my 20-month-old baby’s mouth between her front teeth.

I don’t wear jeans,

because I don’t want to know my size for fear I’d spiral, just like I would if I knew my weight on a scale.

I don’t wear jeans.

But I am six years in recovery.

But I know what my body can do, and appreciate it for that.

But I know now that numbers don’t define me.

But I know the gap in my 20-month-old’s teeth is the only gap that matters.

So, if jeans have to be the enemy to save my mental health, I am more than okay with that.

I don’t wear jeans —

but I do wear self-love, motherhood, happiness, and recovery.

And even if that takes the form of sweatpants,

it's beautiful.

This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder is available on Amazon:

Related video:

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.