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I don't miss the woman I was before kids

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I don’t miss the woman I was before kids.

Because now my days have a different purpose.

Yes, I had “me time,”

because now I have little feet following my every move,

little noses smooshed against the glass while I shower,

little hands tugging on my shirt as I brush my teeth,

needing something.

Yes, I got to sleep in on weekends,

because now I wake up to my children’s voices screaming “MOMMY!” at the crack of dawn.

Yes, I got to go for a jog whenever I felt like it

because now I take walks with my children and it’s not as peaceful.

Yes, I could dine out with my partner on a whim,

because now, I tuck my kids in and read them a story.

But I don’t miss the woman I was before kids.

BECAUSE being needed is a gift,

their voices light up my world even in the early hours,

seeing nature through their eyes is pure joy,

and getting to be the last words they hear before they close their eyes is a highlight of my day.

Motherhood has made me into a better me.

A me, who appreciates the small moments,

where “I love yous” fill my ears,

where hugs and kisses make my heart burst,

and where I connect with my mom on a whole new level.

And these moments beat out the ones where I want to run away, am exhausted, and feel like I’m doing it all wrong.

The truth is I’m forever changed because of my kids,

and though I miss small parts, because motherhood’s a lot at times,

I don’t miss the woman I once was.

Because in mothering, I found a better me.

This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book "Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder" is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId

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