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Challenge: Romance After Kids

I always feel bad leaving my kids for a date weekend, but I never regret it

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I always feel bad leaving my kids for a date weekend, but I'll tell you this, I've never regretted it coming back.

Date nights/weekends/weeks are HARD on a mama.

What a monster you feel like leaving those angels you birthed with their uber-loving, overly-doting, fun-making, generous, affectionate, easy-going, going-to-spoil-'em-rotten grandparents.

Those kids are in for heaven, but you leave feeling like hell because you think that somehow leaving them is acknowledging that you desire or need a break from them and how abhorrent that is.

It's not, though.

You do need a break.






The grands may be worn down a bit, perhaps, but the kids will survive, even thrive, and will probably eat too many snacks.

In fact, they will be better than fine, and you, too, will come back feeling relaxed and rejuvenated because you took some time to decompress and reconnect with the man who helped you make those now slightly grown babies.

Listen, I get it.

The guilt, sometimes, it can be too much.

But too much mom-ing, and too little wife-ing and womaning, that's not good for you either.

What is good for you is a healthy marriage.

And, how you keep your marriage on point and serving you well is by purposefully and privately tending to it as often as you can.

Sure, you love the man in your life.

And, without a doubt, he loves you.

But, to truly appreciate one another for who you are outside of the home, and outside of your role as "Mommy" and "Daddy," and to be reminded of who you were before having kids, and who you still are, when given the chance to be him/her, you've got to find the time to be alone together.

I always feel anxiety when I leave my kids.

I always feel guilty, even if just for a day or two, for prioritizing their father and I's relationship and friendship over time with them.

But, my selfless, adoring, devoted mother who I idolize and cherish, and always will, reminds me that making and taking time for me, and for the hubs and I, only makes me better for my children.

Because instead of drowning in the blessed, but grueling monotony that is motherhood, I hop out of water for a bit, relax on the sand, and then return to the family pool with more energy, renewed desire to engage and play and even more appreciation for the tiring, but fantastic souls who I am lucky enough to call my kids.

If you want to mindfully and wholly feel gratitude for the life you are leading as a woman, wife, and mother, you have to allow yourself to be all three.

You have to find the time to tend you, as each.

And wives, well, they date their husbands.

So, this weekend I'm dating mine.

Now, it's your turn to get out your calendar and schedule that time to date yours.

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