Last week, for my job, I read a novel. The story of a woman who had 17 children. Seventeen. As in 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17. Her family reality was different from mine, but she still raised her children with a smile on her face.
I couldn't help but draw a parallel with my life. Because last year, let's be honest, just with four kids, I upped the tone more often. My new job as a drama teacher keeps me very busy and quite stressed. Children are not used to the absence of mom. They openly complain about the short time I spend with them. This is the first time since the birth of my oldest child that I have worked mainly outside the home. And at night, instead of reading unicorn and dragon stories, Mom pulls out her computer to prepare for classes or complete other freelance contracts.
As you can imagine, all of these changes stem from the pandemic we have been experiencing since March. I lost the majority of my animation contracts and had to find something else.
This year, I don't feel like I'm a super mom. I feel like I always do the minimum required for the happiness of my children. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to keep my head above water. I row, constantly. I'm exhausted.
It brings me back to this heroine whose story I read. This mother of 17 children who mainly made sure to feed, clothe and shelter her young. She wanted to make them happy too, but I doubt she had time to play Among us or build Rescue Bots out of cardboard boxes on top of all of her family chores.
Do you know the difference between this woman and me? She lives in a novel. In reality, time is running out and you cannot cheat the truth. I can only hope to regain my footing and find a certain balance. For me and for my children. Even though I am complaining, the current situation will not change. We must make do.
What can change is the way I look at myself. I can read my personal story with indulgence and understanding. I know there are many of you in a similar situation, in a similar state of mind, regardless of your personal reality. Let's give ourselves a pat on the back!