How a cross-country move strengthened my marriage.
Bear with me here…
A little over 2 years ago, we made a decision to leave everything we had ever known. Everyone we love. Our entire support system. Both of our families, our friends, our church, our home. We left all of it to move states away for a job opportunity that I could not pass up. We were both born and raised in rural Ohio, went to college there, started our family there, and built our home there. And we decided together to leave all that and move to Chicago.
This left us 7+ hours from all grandparents… it was not a popular decision by the masses at first. I can say that with confidence. But it was the absolute best decision we ever could have made.
Let me explain…
I’m a firm believer that when you are following God’s will and listening to His plan for your life, everything will fall into place. My husband was not only 100% supportive about the move and the career opportunity I had, he was actually excited and encouraging every step of the way. He was able to transfer his position to a plant (manufacturing environment) and stay with his company without missing a beat.
We sold our home in Ohio quickly and found one in the far western Chicago suburbs exactly where we should be. There was farmland and the school system was perfect for our boys. We found a babysitter for our then 2 year old (now 4) that took him in as though he was her own. God placed all the pieces of the puzzle together in true faith-based timing. Everything fell into place exactly as it was supposed to.
Every marriage has it’s trials. Lord knows we have had ours. And we came out on the other end stronger. Because we put our trust and faith in God and each other. We have been together for 16 years. Married for 12. We survived brutal years of infertility, raising infant twins and adding another unexpected baby into the mix, severe postpartum depression, anxiety, and some very bumpy, windy, confusing roads along the way. But guess what? None of that matters anymore. We got through it.
Moving away. The 5 of us. JUST the 5 of us. With the opportunity to start over and begin a new normal as a family was the scariest and most exhilarating adventure we have ever experienced. It forced us to lean on one another. To find each other. Not only find each other, but embrace an entirely newfound appreciation for one another. Because aside from our jobs… we only had each other.
Here’s the kicker. That job opportunity did not work out for me. It was an incredible experience and I learned so much along the way. I made beautiful, lifelong friendships and led a team that can never be replaced but I knew it was not where I was meant to be anymore. I wasn’t sure what our next steps were but I knew if we trusted God’s plan and we were in it together, everything would fall into place. It has done all that and then some.
We recently made ANOTHER cross country move. Yes you read that correctly. We just moved from Chicago to the Orlando suburbs. Crazy, right? Maybe. But we couldn’t be happier and more at peace with the decision. The career opportunity that brought us here is everything I ever could have wanted. It will allow me to see my family more and still do exactly what I love in the industry I have worked in for over 13 years. And again, my husband’s job allowed him to transfer and everything started falling into place without a hitch. We trust each other and we did this as a team.
When you make family decisions as a team and you are always on the same page, you cannot go wrong. Even if the world doesn’t understand what or why you’re doing… it doesn’t matter. If you’re doing it with your person, that’s what matters. The 5 of us are on a brand new adventure and this time, the weather is beautiful, the surroundings are incredible and everything feels so comfortable and right.
My husband has been my best friend since I was 18 years old. He knows I am a career-driven mother and he supports that always. I have crazy ideas all the time. He keeps me sane. I want to jump. He reminds me to talk through the details before I do. Now I sit here as a 35 year old mother of 3 and I look at this man with a whole new love and appreciation. In awe of who he is as a father, a husband, and my entire support system. He is my rock.
He has supported and encouraged our family through not one, but TWO cross country moves in less than 3 years for career opportunities for me. Never once making me feel guilty or discouraged about the decision to chase my dreams.
So yes, our cross-country moves have now landed us in beautiful, sunny Florida. More importantly, they have created a new spark in our marriage and our relationship both as partners and as parents.
My encouragement to you is this: a cross-country move isn’t necessarily the right move for everyone. But whatever decisions you are making, if you’re making them as a team, as a family unit, and not worrying about what the outside world thinks… you will thrive. One of my favorite authors says this phrase often “Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.” I encourage you to embrace this thinking in 2020 and don’t be afraid to make the hard decisions.
…you just might get everything you’ve always wanted.
Love & Hugs,
Momming all the Boys