What are the pros and cons of having twins?
If you're expecting twins or are curious about what life with twins can really be like. Then you need to know some of the pros and cons of having twins.
With everything in life, there are advantages and disadvantages. Twins are not the exception.
I love my babies and I wouldn't change them for the world but let's be realistic and understand that being pregnant with twins and raising twins is freaking hard.
So for the people out there that are constantly saying lucky you because you have twins or I wish I will get pregnant with twins...
You need to be careful what you wish for... OR you need to come to my house when everyone is losing their damn minds.
Talk about the best birth control ever.
Below are the PROS and CONS I have gathered.
What are the benefits of having twins?
1. One pregnancy
I feel like this could go either way but let's focus on the positive here. Technically you only have to be pregnant once and as a result, you get two babies. If you're wanting to only have two kids then getting pregnant with twins is perfect.
So you will only suffer from morning sickness, aches, delivery, and so much more. One time.
2. One delivery
With one pregnancy also comes one delivery. Labor is hardcore and the fact that you only have to live such a traumatic event once then that's definitely a pro of having twins. One epidural, You do have two push twice if having a vaginal delivery but then you're done. Contractions are once in a lifetime experience too.
3. Double love
I find this statement to be so true. You get two babies to love on. So many women out there can't even get pregnant with one. In our case, we get two babies to care for, guide, support, and most importantly to give all of our love to.
4. Built in teammate
When you only have one kid is hard for that child to build relationships unless they are in school or daycare. With twins, they have each other for the rest of their lives. They don't have to worry about having to play by themselves or not having friends. Because they will always have each other.
5. Same sex twins can share clothes
Baby clothes can be expensive. So having same-sex twins means that they could share clothes and save you lots of money. OR you can buy neutral clothing and then both babies can share regardless of the sex.
With independence also comes sharing. Two babies mean they quickly have to learn that toys and attention are not just for one of them but for both.
7. People tend to be nicer
Going out with one kid is hard. But try it with two... Is even harder. People see you and they tend to open the door for you, help you at the checkout line, etc.
8. More gifts
Because you have two babies you get two gifts. With some items, it might not work but for the most part, you will be able to get more than one thing. Meaning more options, different toys to play with, and so on.
9. Tax deductions
Do you ever stop and look at the signs that tell you how much money you could get per child? I know I do. Every single year during tax season. Let's be real twins can get expensive and that extra money does help.
10. Learn from each other
Because they spend so much time with each other. They begin to teach each other without them knowing it. They see each other doing something and their first instinct is to copy or to try to figure out how to do it too.
11. Different personalities
Having two kids that are the same age who are also completely different teaches you so many things. You get creative when it comes to parenting, each one of them makes you laugh in a different way. They just add so much more color to your life than you wouldn't have otherwise.
12. Realize how tough you are
Having twins is going to test you on so many different levels and you're going to realize how many strengths you actually have that you never thought were there.
Looking back at the newborn stage I still can't believe that I made it through. Every single day I'm amazed at everything I have accomplished with my babies.
13. People want to help you
I don't know if this is because they feel bad for you or think that you have your hand's fulls. Either way, I don't care. Is the fact that people want to help you even more. Take the help. You might think is not for the right reasons but help is help.
Even if is just to bring you food or help you feed babies. Take it...
What are the cons or drawbacks of having twins?
1. Label as twins
This is hard because in everyone else mind they are just "twins" is hard for people to see them as individuals. They only see two and they will always be label as such.
2. Not as easy to spend one on one time
You can't easily spend one on one time unless you have it schedule and someone else can take care of the other baby. You're constantly just doing everything with both and for both.
3. Tantrums and fights
If I was to put money in a jar for every tantrum and fight my twins create I would have been rich by now.
You're going to deal with tantrums nonstops. Some days more than others. But is inevitable.
Sometimes is both and sometimes is one or the other. But tantrums will happen.
What to do? I drink lots of coffee and sometimes a nice margarita.
Twins don't need double of everything. But some of the items they need double of can be expensive. Plus reaching certain milestones and having to buy those things can be expensive. For example childcare for two, schooling for two, activities for two, and the list goes on.
Trying to teach two babies milestones and skills at the same time is freaking hard. Especially when they are so different and both learn so differently.
Also, they might not even be reaching milestones at the same time. So when one is ready to learn a skill the other isn't and vice versa.
This is freaking hard. Right now we are entering the potty training world. Please say a prayer for us.
6. Never ending comparison
This is a big one. It is easier said than done to not compare your twins but is so hard not to. I have boy-girl twins and my daughter is definitely more advance. Do you know how hard it is to not think that something is wrong with my son because he is not saying as many words as my daughter?
This is a constant struggle for twin moms. We have all at some point compare our twins even if is something super small.
And if you have never compare your twins then you need to teach me your secrets because I have been guilty of it.
7. Twin escalation syndrome
Yes, this is a thing. Is like they look at each other and then boom. Crying begins, tantrums begin. This is when that twin connection truly comes into play. Twins truly feed on each other. And it can be tough to deal with.
This is hard and it truly tests your patients on another level.
8. More stuff
Obviously, you don't need doubles for everything but for the things you do. It creates more clutter. Your house will look like a daycare.
I actually tell my friends that I could start an in-home daycare. I already have three kids and plenty of toys.
9. One pregnancy that's high risk
Just because you're pregnant with twins you're considered high risk. Yes, only one pregnancy and you could be done. But what about complications that can arise from that one pregnancy.
Not to scare any of you but with twins, you're at a greater risk for developing preeclampsia, diabetes, going to early labor, and so on.
10. Too busy to smell the roses
Because you're constantly keeping up with two babies is harder to sit down and smell the roses. You're going non-stop and is much difficult to appreciate how wonderful your life truly is.
Is an endless cycle of keeping up and taking care of babies that sometimes we forget to take a step back and appreciate our tiny humans and the life we have.
11. How many places are not meant for multiples
We used to be able to go anywhere and not be bothered if it was suited to our needs...
Not with Twins. Outings take a lot more work. And you will quickly realize how many places are not suited for twins.
For example, how narrow doors can be and how hard it is to get a double stroller through.
Or how grocery store carts are only meant for one baby to sit on.
Or how family bathrooms only have one changing table. So even though you have two parents you can only change one baby at a time.
You're immediately outnumbered when there is only one parent. You only have two hands so yes you could pick up two babies at the same time. But the logistics of being able to do other things go out the window.
13. Celebrity status
Say hello to your 5 minutes of fame... You might like this but I actually don't enjoy the stares I get from random strangers and asking a billion very personal questions about twins... And the best is when they tell me "wow you really have your hands full" or "God bless you" or "I will say a prayer for you"... THANKS
I know people are just curious but at times it can get pretty overwhelming when all I'm trying to do is just enjoy grocery shopping in peace or sometimes you aren't in the mood to talk to people. You just want to be left alone.
14. Two sick babies
So we all know one sick baby is hard now add two... Shoot me now. When babies don't feel well they are cranky, moody, there is a lot of whining and crying. So think about this times two. Talk about testing your sanity and level of patience to another level.
I hope you enjoy some of the pros and cons of having twins. Yes they are going to be hard to raise but you got this. Take it one day at a time.