My village is my community. It is made up by many. How can I presume to think that I could possible do it alone or even with one or two others? Maybe when I was a young, first-time mom? We cannot! We are not made this way. We are meant to have a village around us, supporting us, drinking with us. It is that simple. You can try to go it alone...you will fail. This, I know, for sure. Let people in...allow them to lift you up. Letting others help me doesn't make me weak; It makes me a better parent.
Our society has taught us that we need to "do it all" alone, in the confines of our home, without sharing what is "really up". Just look at any social media feed...look at all the "happy families". Why? What does this prove? Nothing. When someone says, "Can I help you?" or "What can I do for you?", our first instinct is to say, "I'm good, thanks". or "I don't need anything". Why? What does this prove? Nothing. We need a village.
My village is made up by many and I am and will be forever thankful for their attention to me, my daughters, my husband. There have been times when we've wanted the support, times when we've needed it and other times when we've said, "No thanks, I'm good." But in those times, my village knew better. They fought us and they lifted us.
Our village is our community. It is made up of the doting teachers who collect my daughters, teach with a true passion and love for learning and give them back to me eight hours later. It is made up of the Doctors that keep their health in check - and keep me sane - when I'm positive that they have a life-altering illness. It is made up of our family who shows up when showing up is necessary...and when it's not. Mostly, however, it is made up of FRAMILY - our friends who we know may not be related by blood but they are Family in every sense of that word. They are the family that we choose.
Framily advises you on the best schools for your kids. Framily watches horrible reality TV with you. Framily is at the hospital when your dad passes away at an ungodly young age. Framily tells you "it's okay, I did that too" when you yell at your kids for 20 minutes and then feel horrible about it. Framily picks you up from the doctor when you've had to terminate a pregnancy. Framily takes your children for the umpteenth time - no questions asked - when you're recovering from another miscarriage. Framily listens to your "husband stories" over and over and over. Framily goes on long hikes outdoors - even when they belong to a gym - because they know it's the only way you'll exercise. Framily drinks with you - coffee or wine - and knows when to pour which. Framily is there...always, unconditionally and without judgement...always loving. In my life, without framily...there is no SANE Family. I love my Framily.
I am a sane, competent and (mostly) loving parent because of the Teachers, the Doctors, our Family and most importantly, my Framily. That is my village.