Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Digging Deep

For the mamas that feel UNSEEN: I see you.

0
Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article

3133d23d791c0516a86a9348f86342514d23d5e8.jpg

Do you see this photo here?

Can you see me in it?

You can make out my shirt and a little bit of my neck, but my face, in all it's worn-down, aging glory is hidden by the arm and hand of my 2.5-year-old.

As I came across this image while perusing my iphone's camera roll, it immediately made me think about how sometimes motherhood can make a woman feel unseen.

Seems ludicrous, right?

That I -- a mother of three often needy children, who beckon me to fulfill their every whim and wine and who rarely leave me to pee or shower by myself -- feels unseen.

Yet, I do.

Not all the time and not every day, but often enough that it's worth speaking about.

Although it's a drastically different experience for every woman, I feel as though the transition from being a nonparent to full-on motherhood is a legit mind, body and heart trip and it can leave even the most self-gratified and innately or mindfully joyful person feel unseen.

Underneath the mother you see, is a wife and underneath her is a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a granddaughter, an employee, a friend, and somebody who has many more roles that she plays.

And, beneath all of those, you will find three others;

the woman she once was,

the woman she is now

and the woman she wants to be.

But, how could you ever see her (or her or her)?

Oh yeah, you can't -- that is unless you look very close.

You see far too often our loved ones, our friends and even strangers are so busy they just don't have the time or desire to search beneath the surface to find us and see us.

I doubt that you can see the drive in my eyes with all that caked-on and smudged day-old mascara.

It's highly unlikely that you will pick up on my intellect which rarely peeks out since most of my conversations are with humans seven years old or younger.

It's debatable whether you'll notice the size of my heart and the gratitude that fills it to the point of overflow because my snot-marked oversized t-shirt covers that compassionate bad boy right up.

But, guess what?

If you are one of the lucky ones, you are not unseen.

Your spouse sees you; all that you solely are and all that you are together with them.

You're children see you, and they never want not to see you and as exhausted as that can make you, a tired head and heart tell you that your body and brain are working just like they should.

Do you know who else sees you?

Other mamas, like me.

I see you, and I want you to know that you are not unseen.

And, in all truth, the mission of many women writers who are "mommy bloggers" is to ensure that your truths, challenges, fails, successes and achievemnets never get hidden for too long.

For every momma that feels she is not being heard, listened to or seen, there is another momma leaving vulnerability behind, standing as a target for judgment and taking your joint truths to the frontline to ensure that all of us are noticed.

So, I'll ask you again:

Do you see this photo here?

Can you see me in it?

I see me, and I'm pretty sure you do too.

I'm confident that you must see part of a mother, part of a child and whole lot of love.


This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.