Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: WHO Are You?

Every Person Has a Why (This is Mine)

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Just kidding.

Beer is not my why!

In truth, it’s usually my “why not!?”

But really, the title and image together intrigued you, didn’t it? A little clickbaity maybe, but that was not my whole intention.

The truth is that I couldn’t find a picture of all my offspring where at least one of their faces wasn’t blocked by the title, and I am not a mom who is capable of choosing a favorite out of my children — so, beer it is (especially since they are often why I enjoy a cold one).

Now back to the point (don’t worry, there is one) of this article.

Let’s begin with a question:


This interrogatory was recently posed to me in a writer’s contributor group to which I belong. While it seemed to be an easy question for many to answer, I struggled to share mine.


What is MY WHY?

Maybe the reason I was having a hard time hopping on a “Facebook Live” and sharing my why was that, well, my why is messy; completely authentic, but chaotic nonetheless — and disorganized beauty is not something that is easily described or explained on a whim.

Our why for what, you question? The hope was that many would share our why as to why we each do what we do — be it write, podcast, speak, illustrate, etc.

But, this query could be asked of any person on any day, and I think it is necessary, whether you voice it or keep it to yourself, to investigate and define YOUR why.

I actually have three “whys,” and here they are:




These three typically well-behaved, but occasionally unruly, mostly respectful, but very excitable tiny intelligent and gorgeous inside and out human beings are my why.

Not only are they my why for why I do what I do for work, but they are my reason for every gosh darn thing that I do every single day.

Let’s start with the oldest, Payton. She is seven and every bit of me when I was younger, but she’s better than me; I’ve shared that before. Do you have a child who you wish to emulate? I do. I admire her for so many reasons, and I tell you this, she teaches me so much about her, about myself, and about the good in this world.

She is also the reason I have three kids. Well, yes, my sexy business with the hubs is how we have three kids, but had she not been such the perfect little easy-to-handle and go-with-the-flow newborn, infant, and toddler, we likely would have stopped after we had her.

You know what else she is?

She is the reason I am touched and talked out most days. This girl desires (and demands) affection and attention every minute of every day, and if she weren’t so darn cute, genuinely kind and persistent, it would be easy not to give it to her (unlikely).

She is also the reason I don’t want to go back to a full-time job, as I want to be present for all of the homework, after-school activities, performances, tough conversations, tears, and giggles and so much more.

She is the reason I refuse to stop writing; the reason I am working so damn hard to own and run my own business and still balance that with full-time motherhood. I want to model for her what it is to be a bada** married with children woman who still makes time for what she enjoys, be that work or anything else.

She is the reason I cry some days when her mistakes and attitude lead me to believe that I am failing her and her siblings in some way.

But, she is also why I laugh and smile every day when her open-minded, jovial nature and plethora of accomplishments remind me that I am so far from failing her and her siblings.

Speaking of siblings, let’s talk about my son, Weston — the boy — the ham in the middle of an over-dramatic girl sandwich.

He is the reason I need coffee and lots of it.

He is the reason I must wake up and be “on” and ready to mom.

He is often the reason you will find me scratching my head in confusion, crying in my van or stuffing my face with mood-boosting foods like French fries, chocolate bars, and potato chips.

BUT, he is the reason I want to be a better person.

He is the reason I arrive at preschool pick-up 15 minutes early every day because that “Mommy!” yell and welcomed smile when I walk into his class creates a pleasurable feeling like nothing else I have ever experienced or likely ever will.

He is the reason I laugh, at a minimum, seven times a day.

He is also that sometimes annoyingly sticky glue that is necessary to bind the whole family together because without it (and him) everything would fall apart.

Isn’t it wonderfully surprising how the same person that challenges you daily can be the same person you thank God for putting in your life because you know, without a doubt, that this person is prompting your personal growth and in your faith? I sure think so.

Speaking of better people, we must talk about my 2.5-year-old, my youngest, Harper Belle. This little nugget is a toddler that is wise beyond her years. She just “gets it;” I don’t even get it, and I’m 32.

She is the reason I have an early bedtime.

She is the reason I haven’t slept without a tiny head on the right side of my chest in over two years.

She is the reason I can’t go certain places, at certain times, because you know, terrible two toddler-tantrums.

Yet, she is the reason I would have more babies. (Were not, but I would!)

She is the reason I believe in destiny and God’s plan.

She is light and fire, and she is everything a person needs to be to make it far in this life.

She is truly an angel living here on Earth.

You see, her and her siblings — these “whys” of mine — well, they are the reason I do and don’t do everything.

My whys are the reason I was put on this planet and they are the legacy that will remain when I leave it.

My whys are those three squishy-cheek faced love bugs that drive me up the walls daily, but are also the reason I want to come back down.

Be it at your place of employment, in your marriage, with your friendships, or in your role as a parent, don’t ever be ashamed of feeling incapable of adequately explaining your why to others.

In my opinion, the best things (and people) in life are those that are a bit of a contradiction or a conundrum, those things or people that challenge you, and while I did hesitate to explain my why recently inside of a writing group, I will never be prudent in avowing that my why will forever remain to be my children (with beer as a close second).

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