I see you taking your child to what seems like an endless tunnel of doctor appointments, and evaluations.
It feels like you are getting lost in a deep sea of tests and referrals.
You wonder why your child is not meeting milestones or functioning like other kids.
Then, you get the diagnosis served to you like just another conversation. They send you on your way with little resources. You wonder if you should be thankful for the actual diagnosis or not. It still feels like there is a missing piece to the puzzle.
I’ll sit with you in the dark.
You go on your way and continue with life the best that you can. There is still something inside of you that wants your life to be like everyone else’s. You want that picture perfect experience.
However, you quickly realize that your life is not like other moms your age. Your once empty and care-free life becomes overwhelmed with endless therapies and appointments.
Your friends mean well. They try to invite you to play dates and parties but it’s just not the same anymore. It often requires an enormous amount of stress and work.
It often takes a tag team to get out of the house for things as simple as going to a cookout. You end up chasing your child around the entire time or try to keep them from having a major meltdown.
You feel alone. You feel isolated. Your kids get bored and flustered. You just want it all to go away with a snap of a finger.
I’ll sit with you in the dark. I’ll be your friend. You can vent to me without the slightest amount of judgement.
Then one day, you find yourself sobbing on a drive home from a therapy or sitting on the bathroom floor. It all hits at once….the emotions and anxiety. You wonder how I am going to do this for the rest of my life. Is this all just a dream? Please, wake me up!
As you look at your food-stained clothes and your greasy mop top, you realize you are not the same person. Somewhere between the long sleepless nights and never-ending appointments, you lost yourself.
You take one of those silly surveys on Facebook asking what your hobbies are…..you sit there with a blank stare on your face. You no longer have any hobbies. You don’t know yourself anymore.
You wonder if you will ever find yourself again. Will you always be this tired? Will you always be this lost?
I know those feelings all too well momma. I’ll sit with you in the dark. Lean on my shoulder and ugly cry. It’s alright by me.
Truth is……I still have days with all those feelings that I mentioned above. Doubt and grief are valid feelings for a life turned upside down.
I’m here for you. We are all here for you. You might not know that there are special needs mommas all around the world who are ready to rally around you.
Pick yourself up and dust off all the pain. Find your tribe. Find those who will build you up. I promise you will not regret it.
Let me help pull you out of the dark.